Life on the floor
Is anyone else in this group like me, in a situation where you clearly have something wrong that needs fixing, but all the doctors and PT’s, etc. are just gaslighting you and adding insult to injury? I wish . They would just admit that they are not send Milyer with this and that they do not know but I theater egos will never let them say anything like that so instead they just tell us nothing is wrong and or what we are saying cannot be true. Anyway…. So for the last year I literally lie on the floor most of my days, every single day, day in and day out. It’s my way of feeling like I am at least still trying… I am not staying in bed all day. 🙄
I have only left the house for medical appointments for the last two years and I am just exhausted. Completely. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually- I am depleted. I still believe this is not my destiny, that I do not belong in bed or on the floor of my room in isolation and pain the rest of my life. Me getting out of bed every day, even though it is only to crawl a few feet to my new position on the floor, at least helps me feel like I am actively doing something to progress myself. I do stretches and basic spine/core exercises from the floor whenever I am well enough to do so. Most the day tho I am lying still propped up on blocks as I call it. I have #sijointdysfunction so I have to lay on this little miracle device called the Sacro wedgy for hours every morning until my sacrum and pelvis fall into place. I have developed more and more injuries and health problems the longer I go on like this. It’s so sad how quickly the body can break down and generate tons of associated problems if the inciting injury or illness is not taken care of promptly. My body has developed muscle contractures which are permanent painful tight complete atrophied useless muscles basically. Be careful everyone; avoid the cascade! It was hard to start moving at all in my condition but I will say that certain bodily injuries have gotten better since I started doing somatic daily on the floor. This is by no means an acceptable life to me right now, but I have to keep fighting. Weak fighting is still fighting. I try soooo hard to not compare myself to all of my healthy friends still living and exploring all that healthy life has to offer, and instead compare myself to where I was a year ago (or whenever I was worse off than I am today) to force motivation to keep trying for a different daily reality