Last night I started a new sleep medication because all the medications I’ve been prescribed in the past for sleep have not really worked. It’s called Lunesta. I took it last night and I think it did help. I slept through the night and had an easier time falling sleep. I’ve had serious sleep problems my whole life and it has taken a really long time to get a doctor to help with that. It’s been pretty difficult to get treatment because my body usually doesn’t react well to medication.

In the past I’ve been on dozens of different psychiatric medications (over the course of years) but I’m not willing to try that anymore because of what it put me through. I have a hard time taking any medication that alters my state- physical or mental. I don’t like feeling like I’m under the influence of anything, or that I’m not myself.

I have no choice but to take sleep medication, even though I am hesitant at times. Over the years my improper sleep has caused significant health issues, and I started to worry about a year ago that ultimately it would cause irreversible damage just because no one had caught the sleep problems sooner. Last year I started a medication that targeted some of my sleep symptoms and it has helped so much.
I felt a lot of guilt for a long time about my sleep and how to affected me. I would worry about bringing it up to anyone and having their response be something like “have you tried meditating?”, “have you tried CBD?”, “have you tried altering your sleep schedule?” Which in theory are good questions but it’s all far beyond that. My experiences haven’t been having a little difficulty with sleep. They’re were times (months) where I should have been sent to the ER because it was so serious. However I didn’t realize how serious it was at the time and in my mind I thought I had more important things to do- like finish work.
I’m hoping I can start feeling a lot better and some of my symptoms can go away once my new medication is in my system for a while.