Nightmare Disorder

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Nightmare Disorder
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Yesterdays and Todays

Rising from unconsciousness,
somewhere between yesterday
and my sitting up in bed,

my heart slams against my chest,
breathing is quick and shallow,
upsidedown is right-side-up,

confusion, fear, sadness, rage
wrestle for my attention
as my hands choke the alarm.

Sometimes the phantoms linger
and I have to plant my feet
against the cool of the floor

to realize my today,
but losing this struggle is
not an option I allow.

#NightmareDisorder , #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder , #CPTSD

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Prazosin has almost stopped my nightmares completely. I had a nightmare for the first time. The last one I had was about 3 weeks ago (wow!!) Before prazosin I would have 3-4 nightmares a night. Anyway, I had a nightmare last night. The usual nightmare for me.. being sexually abused. Very very scary and I’ve been thinking about it all day. I thought the nightmares were completely gone… I have an appointment with psychiatrist this week. #NightmareDisorder #Anxiety #PTSD #CPTSD #Depression #Trauma #SexualAbuse #Csa #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #Psychiatrist


night terrors #NightmareDisorder

I hate when I wake up screaming and crying trying to reach out for anyone to help me but there's no one there...I'm tired of seeing his face when he left, I'm tried of crying ,I'm tired of dying , and I'm tired of trying I'm tired of it all. I don't see the point in asking for anyone to help me when they always say "I'm going through shit of my own I can't be bothered by your drama" or "You're just being dramatic you're fine just get over yourself" so what's the fucking point anymore I sure don't see it anymore.

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Today I received nightmares. In terms of flashbacks of things that will never going to happen. It scares me to death. I have only breathing excerises to cope and I think, almost certainly feel that I am or will hurt someone. even though I know these are *just* nightmares. No one understands how scary it gets to think you might hurt someone. And my abusers will be there supporting that very thing.

It has nothing to do with me. That's the only bit of sanity I tend to. I find it really difficult breathing. So I do CBT. cognitive behavioural Therapy. I breathe until it stops or goes away. #Flashbacks #NightmareDisorder

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Had an extreme nightmare!! #NightmareDisorder #Anxiety

I had a dream that one of my wisdom teeth became loose so I decided to go to my friends dentist. When I got there I had the hardest time finding my insurance card and it took me hours there to be seen. People were arguing over who gets to be seen first. “ I’ve been his patient for 8 years....I’ve been his patient for 10 years!” And I said “well I’ve been his patient for 8 hours and ready to be done” ...they let me go ahead of them. He got me in the chair and tried strapping my feet down with green ribbon. I could feel my panic setting in because I hate the thoughts of being held down. And he came near my face with the drill. I said “ Wait a minute!!!! Are you not going to numb me or anything?!! This pain will be too much on me!” He said “Well this is all for free.” I said “give me something so I don’t scream my head off!” He dipped his hands in this green gooey numb gel and put it over my tooth. Then I could feel the drill going up under my tooth. I could see myself holding onto his arm.
Then my bf woke me up because work was calling me. #DentalAnxiety #Anxiety #nightmare

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New Sleep Medication And Chronic Sleep Problems #Insomnia #NightmareDisorder #SleepHallucinations #PTSD #DID #Autism

Last night I started a new sleep medication because all the medications I’ve been prescribed in the past for sleep have not really worked. It’s called Lunesta. I took it last night and I think it did help. I slept through the night and had an easier time falling sleep. I’ve had serious sleep problems my whole life and it has taken a really long time to get a doctor to help with that. It’s been pretty difficult to get treatment because my body usually doesn’t react well to medication.

In the past I’ve been on dozens of different psychiatric medications (over the course of years) but I’m not willing to try that anymore because of what it put me through. I have a hard time taking any medication that alters my state- physical or mental. I don’t like feeling like I’m under the influence of anything, or that I’m not myself.

I have no choice but to take sleep medication, even though I am hesitant at times. Over the years my improper sleep has caused significant health issues, and I started to worry about a year ago that ultimately it would cause irreversible damage just because no one had caught the sleep problems sooner. Last year I started a medication that targeted some of my sleep symptoms and it has helped so much.
I felt a lot of guilt for a long time about my sleep and how to affected me. I would worry about bringing it up to anyone and having their response be something like “have you tried meditating?”, “have you tried CBD?”, “have you tried altering your sleep schedule?” Which in theory are good questions but it’s all far beyond that. My experiences haven’t been having a little difficulty with sleep. They’re were times (months) where I should have been sent to the ER because it was so serious. However I didn’t realize how serious it was at the time and in my mind I thought I had more important things to do- like finish work.
I’m hoping I can start feeling a lot better and some of my symptoms can go away once my new medication is in my system for a while.


Lifelong nightmares

I have suffered from very serve vivid nightmares since I was a child. And have deterred them with no success, medications have made them worse and talk therapy does not aid them. I wake from my nightmares and try anything and everything to change the dream think about happy things, but they feel like a monster that won’t let me go, won’t let me change what I’m seeing. Sometimes they’re apocalyptic, others are extreme disasters I cannot escape. But personally the worst ones are that of emotional trauma and torment. My boyfriend cheating on me and choosing someone else right in front of me, my father trying to sacrifice me. They are scaring in a much more painfully personal way that I cannot let them go. I’m scared to go to sleep because I don’t want to dream. I don’t know what else to do anymore, this has been going on consistently since I was a child, I just want them to stop. #Nightmares #NightmareDisorder #Anxiety #sad