Since last December I've suffered huge outbreaks of anxiety affecting both my personal and work life. I've been waiting 5 months for a therapist to be appointed to me but today I hit a wall.

After weeks and weeks of chasing my gp and being assured they're chasing it, it came to light today they've done nothing. As a result I've had a meltdown at work and been sent home after been deemed unfit to work. My anxiety goes two ways; either I get angry and explode or I shut down. Today I shut down, I've cried, couldn't breath, my eyes were twitching and my mind was empty.

I am fortunate enough to have the luxury of mental health first aiders at work who took me in a room and together we called an line, the Samaritans and spent an hour on the phone to the works counselling service. I also called back my doctors surgery and lost my temper asking to speak with the practice manager with no joy. I can't tell you how let down I felt by the people who are paid to look out for me. In the end they provided me the number to the high intensity therapist so I could hear for myself they have no appointments but I know they only did this to get me off the phone. I called the therapist and spilt my heart out just to hear it could be 4 more weeks as the gp failed to chase it and upgrade it to an emergency.

In the end I left work and decided to walk home. I took a scenic route across Manchester quay side and found a peaceful spot to do the 4 2 4 breathing technique, gather my thoughts and get myself into a headspace where I could make a plan. I came to the conclusion I need to change my surgery and made another call to the high intensity therapist to ensure my referral would still stand if I changed surgery to which they confirmed that was fine.

In less than 5 minutes I got a call back from them with an emergency appointment for tomorrow at 9am. I cried my heart out with relief. I was and am so grateful.

I wanted to post this as I have learnt today that putting yourself in a headspace where you can think clearly can have a massively positive effect. I calmed myself enough to make a plan and gain the confidence to make a judgement call... it paid off! I now see tomorrow as the start of my recovery after months and months of struggling with the unknown.

For any of you out there struggling to get help today then try what I've done. It may work, it may not but persevere and keep trying to find out what does work for you. There are so many groups and advice lines that can help but never give up. Stay strong and carry on. #Anxiety #TheMighty #standalone #standtogether