substanceuse

Hey everyone....I have been avoiding asking for help today out of embarrassment. I am genuinely struggling with urges to use today. It's been 12 days since I last used. I am very emotional today and struggling (my girlfriend is too due to losing our unborn child). I am just really overwhelmed. I don't know how to handle the urges right now and I can't think straight. My girlfriend doesn't want to talk and I am afraid to tell her I am struggling. How do I handle this?

#substanceuse #SubstanceAbuse #Urges #Trauma #Miscarriage

I had a rough week. I had a medication change that lead to just overall falling apart and then also having some side effects that made me feel absolutely miserable. I still don't feel great and ended up with a 3 day vestibular migraine. It's been awful. I spent the day in bed chilling and hanging out with my son. It was overall really nice. He went to bed.....then shit hit the fan.

I finally told my girlfriend tonight while sobbing because she confronted me as to why I was acting so strange lately that I relapsed a week ago. She was gracious but obviously upset. I had a year clean from any substance use and I had gone a good 6 months without self harming. I feel like I ruined things and messed a lot up. She urged me to get help right away and wants me to figure stuff out. I feel stuck on what to do. I am rationalizing and telling myself it isn't "that bad" and that I have this on my own. I don't know what to do. I am mostly just pissed at myself right now. I already told my therapist and they have a plan for me, but I am already resistant to it. I just don't like feeling like I am backwards walking. I don't know how to get out of my own head right now. I am stuck in a cycle.

#Depression #PTSD #Trauma #Relapse #Selfharm #substanceuse