substance abuse

#Selfharm #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #EssentialTremor #EmotionalAbuse #SubstanceAbuse #ChronicDepression

We’ll kind of new. I redownloaded the app after not using for a while. Hello! I’m a 29 year old phlebotomy student who struggles with some mental health disorders and wishes to connect with other people who can relate. I’m diagnosed with Bipolar II, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, Dermatillomania, ADD - Inattentive, and I also have a math learning disorder call Dyscalculia. I have struggled extensively with self harm and suicidal ideation, and have had periods of substance abuse. I used to struggle with Anorexia Nervosa but now it’s flipped to Binge Eating disorder. I have experience with being inpatient at psychiatric hospitals and residential eating disorder treatments centers. It’s weird being so transparent and vulnerable with my diagnoses but I hope to find a community here.

#personalitydisorder #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #ADHD #BipolarDepression #BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #Selfharm #Dyscalculia #SubstanceAbuse #Anxiety #Dermatillomania #Depression

A lot of people in mental health have problems taking their medication. My problem is that I love taking my medication. With not distinction between the controlled or uncontrolled substances.
For almost half a year now, my pharmacy has been filling my medication into a lockbox. Which has been helping so much. I get my meds, correctly once a day. For $20 a month.
This month, they did not lock it properly. I could of just gone and told them. I should of. But no, I didn't do that.
I mean my first thought was, you don't need to do this and I meant it but I said to myself fuck you... and I have screwed myself.
I can no longer trust the pharmacy.
I just texted my best friend. I told him I messed up again tonight. He has known. I asked for help. I told him I would follow his rules unwavering.
We came up with a framework for a plan.
A 31 day medication planner, 30 minutes a day for me to talk to him about how I feel about sobriety (although it's not quite that, it's more like an OCD tick for any pill) but I suppose sobriety nonetheless and I thought I would start a journal about it. Also, we would get a lockbox, since I stay at his place so often. And the $20 a month, I would put aside. #medicationmanagement #Askingforhelp #Sobriety #Psychmeds #takingmeds #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #SubstanceUseDisorders #SubstanceAbuse #SubstanceMisuse

This is mostly about alcohol, but I suppose it can apply to any addiction. This is hard for me to talk about... but seeing that my favorite comedian of all time, John Mulaney, went to rehab today for cocaine and alcohol abuse, it has been weighing heavy on my heart. This isn’t just something that has gotten worse with covid, it’s been bad since my mental health issues escalated during college. I almost never go out so I don’t think the quarantine affected me, so it’s unrelated to that. But anyway, I have been drinking everyday for quite a while. I finish a box of Franzia every two or maybe three days if I’m hungover the first day and can’t drink too much. My weight is out of control when I was actually getting back to my old self for a while, I don’t recognize myself, my life is just in a tailspin. My romantic relationships (yes plural because I’m polyamorous) are out of control the drama is constant and not for reasons of jealousy like you might think, idk that’s a whole other issue...

Anyway I’m sorry I kind of got off track. Does anyone have any tips where to start when it comes to quitting drinking or any addiction? I can’t go to rehab because I don’t think I have insurance right now and I also think I have outstanding fees for the inpatient center I went to last year idk I’m getting to the point where I’m so disgusted with myself I hope I will drink myself to death. Please help I don’t know what to do. #SubstanceAbuse #BipolarDepression #Addiction #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder