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Hitting Rock Bottom: Alcohol Use Disorder and Bipolar Disorder
In May 2021, I hit rock bottom after I was rejected 13 times by law schools and went off all my meds. After I went off my meds my mood began to shift and I slipped into a mixed episode.
My world came crashing down right in front of my eyes. My dreams of becoming an attorney were over. I was convinced I would never get into law school.
This when the impulsive behavior started as my mood kept shifting I began drinking excessively and using drugs. I was a month away from graduating from college and I was on my path to self-destruction. I wanted to destroy myself so I did by excessively drinking, using drugs, and partying everyday.
Within a span of two weeks I had run into trouble with the law and was almost arrested three times in a row because I was high on drugs and intoxicated. This was my rock bottom. I had gone off all meds and was almost arrested three times. I was about to lose the one thing I had going for me: graduating from college.
At my lowest point I had realized what I had done to myself and I was filled with shame and guilt. As someone who grew-up being a perfectionist and high-achiever in school I could not believe everything I had done.
Two years later, I now live a sober life that is very clean and healthy. I could not ever imagine going off my mood stabilizers again, I learned my lesson. I now realize that hitting rock bottom was a wake-up call for me that has now helped me stay on the path to recovery from all addictions.
For those of you struggling with an addiction, just know that you are not alone in this struggle. We just do it in silence because of the shame we feel. If you are battling with an addiction, speak about it. You will be surprised to find out that many of us too are struggling with an addiction. You are not alone, I promise. #Bipolar #SubstanceAbuse
