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How Linkin Park's Lyrics Saved My Life

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I was in a deep depression eight years ago and I distinctly remember dropping my son off at daycare in the summer of 2009. On the way home I kept thinking about how much better off he’d be without me. I pulled into my driveway and walked into the house and turned on the TV to one of the music channels — VH1 or MTV, I can’t remember which. I remember the distinct sound of Linkin Park’s opening keyboard sounds to “Leave Out All The Rest” coming through my speakers. I stopped and stared at the video on the screen and then Chester’s voice came through and I broke.

The lyrics played out as though they’d been pulled directly from my mind and I remember feeling for a moment as though they quite possibly had. I found the song after that on iTunes and played it on repeat until I stopped crying. No one knows how close I was to suicide that day. No one knows that particular piece of music pulled me out of a dangerous moment.

The news of Chester Bennington’s death by suicide knocked the wind out of me and I feel somewhat haunted now by my own experience. I’m so incredibly sad for him and those he left behind who love him. I think he left behind plenty of reasons to be missed. I choose to remember the moments of solace his voice brought and I’ll “leave out all the rest.”

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.

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Photo via Linkin Park Facebook page.

Originally published: July 21, 2017
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