Superstious

Hi guys! I have a pattern- when I’m up, I feel great, I do things,
Among many writing, in several languages. However, when I feel bad and I don’t write, when I want to move on and instill good habits, THIS SUPERSTITION AND MAGIC THINKING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE NOT DOING IT CUZ ILL JINX IT!
Do you have similar problems and are afraid of doing something when you’re down bc you want to go up again? Does this even makes sense? Does anyone even read this?

4 weeks ago my uncle died following a gastric bypass after a month long coma, 2 weeks ago i woke to the news that my other uncle suffered a stroke. He’s recovering but it’s a long way . And finally 2 days ago woke up to the news that my aunt had and MI and she’s in CCU. All of this is messing up with my head, scaring me and bringing me down. I hate waking up from sleep because i get these shocking news. I just want some mental stability, I need it .