Ok well I first off want to say that I’m not happy in this marriage. I was married once before for over a decade. I was a absolute mean person who definitely didn’t have his mental health in check. Well we lost our son in 2013 and I gave my life to Christ ✝️. Things got better and then I slipped away from my faith and things got bad again and I threatened to jump off a bridge. My first wife and mother had me committed to a mental institution, I was there for two weeks. When I got out my first wife left me and I went ballistic that’s when I was diagnosed with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder . I’m been since remarried and have displayed some of the same behaviors I did that help end my former marriage. But my current wife has a lot of the same issues I do, and her family had told her that they didn’t think it would work because we’re to much alike. There’s a part of me that just wants to live alone and since I suffer from severe #Anxiety and fear of #thanataphobia (fear of dying) so being alone scares me I don’t want to die alone but I also don’t want this marriage to work out either I’m literally what my name says a lost cause