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Back in therapy #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #psychologist #Relationships #Faith #Christianity #MentalHealth

After a long period of denial I am now seeing a psychologist. The warning signs were quite evident for awhile but like a lot of men I ignored them hoping they would eventually go away, but they only got worse.

I have been quite short tempered whilst driving and isolating myself from people as much as possible.

There might be some people who are shocked that a Christian would need psychological therapy. And many think that surely a Pastor would be ok without it?

He truth is my faith is often strong but I am as human and vulnerable as anyone else. I regularly see my podiatrist and cardiologist for routine treatment. Seeing a professional for my mental health is no different.

I honestly thought I had processed the events of the last 4 years ago but clearly I haven’t. For those who don’t know 4 years ago I was charged by police with assaulting someone in the early 80’s. Just before we were due in court the police withdrew the charge after we could prove conclusive that I was overseas and interstate the whole year of the alleged crime. We were also able to prove a litany of lies from the accuser and they were eventually investigated with the view of laying perjury charges for their false accusations.

Then a misdiagnosis after open heart surgery saw me 12 hours away from losing a leg and 24 hours away from death. My Wife was with me when she heard the words “code blue”. She hasn’t been able to go inside a hospital since then, it’s too triggering for her.

The therapist I am seeing is very well qualified and I am quietly confident this will be a huge step forward.

Should there be shame or embarrassment in seeking help for your mental health? Never!!!

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Holding on #Depression #Hope #Christianity #Relationships #ChronicPain #Anxiety #MentalHealth

I’m back, kind of. It’s quite challenging typing this post as my hands are still very painful and unable to bend much but the desire to post is stronger than the pain.

My doctor is waiting for the results of more blood tests and X-rays before there is a definitive diagnosis of what is causing my crippling hand pain. I joking said to my Wife the other day that “I feel like cutting my fingers off”. Later that day I sliced the top of a finger off doing a maintenance job. Ouch. The fingers will remain in tact.

The thing about pain is it wants to be in charge. It wants to dictate what I do and don’t do. And to some extent it has a point, but, I have a life to live.

So, I am trying to maintain my previous work load as best I can. I am being wise. As winter sets in I am wearing gloves a lot and using what medical pain relief I can. At the end of the day the truth is I have eternal life but this pain doesn’t. I am being held, tightly, by Jesus. And so are you.

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Missing in action #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #ChronicPain #Christianity #MentalHealth

Hi everyone. Apologies for the radio silence of late. I am praying for you all. 4 weeks ago I suddenly developed severe pain in both my hands. The doctors are still not sure the cause. One possibility is I picked up a bug whilst in Asia recently.

Treatment is not straightforward seeing I am allergic to anti inflammatories. So for now typing is not easy. However, this disease doesn’t have eternal life but I do. I will do my best to monitor the group but know I am praying for you all and proud to be amongst such champion people.

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Happy Easter Mighties!! ✝️

Happy Easter! On this holy day, I hope you know that you are worthy of being loved, and that Jesus loves us all no matter what.

Have a peaceful and blessed day ✝️ 🩷

#christiansonthemighty #Christianity #MentalHealth

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Elephant in the room #2 - Overcoming #Depression #Anxiety #Relationships #Faith #Christianity #PTSD #MentalHealth

Have you ever been told that battling a mental illness is something that reflects badly on your faith? Have you ever beaten yourself up because you battle mental illnesses when Christians are supposed to be “victorious”?

Let’s address this elephant. Let me say straight up that illness is illness. Whether it’s physical or mental, it’s all the same. We don’t criticise people struggling with hypertension so why should people battling depression etc be criticised?

Shame, condemnation should NEVER be part of Christianity.

If anything I think Christians dealing with mental illness are champions. They are dependent on God and demonstrate that we are as human as others are but we triumph in it until we can triumph over it.

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Elephant in the room #1 . Suicide #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Christianity #Relationships

I have posted about this before but I feel inspired to start a series about “Elephants in the room” that Christian’s might encounter. Let jump off with a big one, suicide.

I’ve been told, often, by well meaning Christian’s that suicide is selfish and that people who take their life go to hell. They are both falsehoods.

The desire to live is very primal. How often have you seen people who have received a terminal diagnosis do anything and everything to live. If attacked we go to any length to survive. Suicide therefore is very counterintuitive. Now the family of those who take their lives suffer enormous pain.

Four years ago I walked out to my car with the intention of driving away and taking my life. I knew that 12 tablets of this medication is generally fatal. I had 60 stashed under my spare tyre. I was shocked when I lifted the tyre to find them missing. A dear friend in Thailand knew of my plan and notified my family.

The reason for my suicide was I had been falsely accused of an historical crime and charged by the police. After a 3 week stay in a mental hospital we started the long process of proving my innocence. The legal system is faulty. I knew that intellectually but I was stunned that even having irrefutable proof I was overseas the year this crime is supposed to have occurred it still continued. One week before the trial the police admitted they had made a serious error and it was all withdrawn. This however took over 2 years.

I am in a good place today.

As to hell and suicide. It is definitely not Gods will we take our life. Yet, in Gods eyes, sin is sin. The murderer crucified next to Jesus had no opportunity to do good. Yet Jesus assured him he would be in heaven that very day.

Christians battling mental illness need love, support, compassion and help. Not false condemnation.

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📚The Names They Gave Us” by Emery Lord 📚

I read a great book recently called “The Names They Gave Us”. It’s a young-adult book, but I would consider it a great read for adults as well. My grandmother had metastatic breast cancer, so I was really able to empathize with the characters.

When it all falls apart, who can you believe in? Everything is going right for Lucy Hansson, until her mom’s cancer reappears. Just like that, Lucy breaks with all the constants in her life: her do-good boyfriend, her steady faith, even her longtime summer church camp job. Instead, Lucy lands at a camp for kids who have been through tough times. As a counselor, Lucy is in over her head and longs to be with her parents across the lake. But that’s before she gets to know her coworkers, who are as loving and unafraid as she so desperately wants to be. It’s not just new friends that Lucy discovers at camp—more than one old secret is revealed along the way. In fact, maybe there’s much more to her family and her faith than Lucy ever realized.

#themightyreaders #BreastCancer #Cancer #Trauma #Christianity

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Forgiveness & Living As God Says

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.19Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God;* for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ 20No, ‘if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.’” —Romans, 12:14-20

What is forgiveness, truly? I have been told that forgiveness is solely for us, not for the people who have wronged us. I have written about forgiveness before, but it has felt slightly hypocritical to do so because I still feel anger about some of the things that have happened to me.

I have heard the quote, “Hate the sin, not the sinner,” and that quote resonates with me very well. It is not always healthy to hold onto anger, but it is okay to be angry. Anger is a productive emotion, for good or for bad. However, it is my aim to live like Christ would want. Anger and hatred do not only hurt those who have hurt us, but they hurt ourselves. Anger and hatred—bitterness—can change a person. If you are bitter, it is harder to love others.

I have been tempted to retaliate many times in my life, but have talked myself out of it by reasoning that refraining will make me a better person. It’s the same principle that causes parents everywhere to say: “Be the bigger person.” In the Bible, God says, “Vengance is mine; I will repay.” God has control, and He chose to give humanity the gift of free will. As humans, it is not our job to judge others; our job is to love. The rest will come; we just have to have faith.

To live like Christ, we must to be kind to all, even the people who have hurt us. If you help your enemy, you are being noble and truly “the bigger person”. The humility that one displays when being kind to someone who has hurt them is “the coal burning on his head”. Humility is an attribute that everyone must respect.

The biggest lesson about forgiveness I have encountered comes from Jesus’ crucifixion. It was humans that accused Jesus of being a fraud, humans that betrayed Him, and humans who nailed Him to the cross. And yet, in return, Jesus gave humanity the ultimate gift: eternal peace and a place in God’s kingdom. After all that Jesus endured, He did so much for humanity—put his “enemies” above Himself.

We are merely humans. We’re not perfect. But if we can forgive, that’s a step closer to God. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. It is as much for our enemies as it is for us.

#MightyTogether #Christianity

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God’s Bigger Picture Plan Through My Surgery

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make straight your paths.”—Proverbs 3:5-6

Over the years, I will admit that I have been frustrated with God. All the times when I have struggled with people being mean based on my disability, feeling imperfect, and these last six years of chronic pain, I have prayed.

My family and I tried almost every method to treat my chronic pain. I went to doctor after doctor, who all offered possible solutions. Some solutions worked partially, but I was still in a severe amount of pain. I began to ask God what I had done wrong.

When my grandfather died in the midst of my pain, I wondered why God decided to take away the one person who I felt understood my pain. Gradually through my femoral osteotomy recovery, I realized that I hadn’t necessarily done anything wrong; God’s timing and mine were probably different.

It turned out that having surgery was probably the best solution anyway. The femoral osteotomy surgery would rotate my femur so that my left foot would either be straight or turned outward slightly. None of the medication or other possibilities for relief would have corrected the way I walked. Now because I had surgery, I have a chance to be in less pain and to fall down less.

There were so many times when I cried to God, wondering why I had to handle so much pain. I didn’t feel like I was old enough to deal with it. I worried that I disappointed God somehow or was unfaithful to Him. I didn’t know what else to do.

I was unsure if I was following the path that God intended for me. Was I being a bad advocate for other people with disabilities? Did I deserve this pain?

I still don’t understand the reason for my chronic pain, but that’s okay. I am only human. I am not God. God knows what is best for each of us, and humans are not supposed to understand His plan.

Throughout those rather tough years of chronic pain, I hoped that eventually something would help my legs. I didn’t understand why I had to wait so long. I didn’t understand why nothing worked fully to stop my pain.

Now I have so much more appreciation for God’s plan. Those six years of pain made me stronger. And surgery was not just a solution for my pain; the surgery did not cure my CP, but I didn’t want it to. The surgery will allow me to have a better quality of life.

God had a plan that would fully help me. I just didn’t know it yet.

The surgery turned my left foot so that my hip won’t slowly slip out of socket. My legs don’t touch anymore when I walk, so hopefully I won’t fall. God used the surgery to help me. Sure enough, God had a plan.

If I hadn’t gone through the pain, I never would have relearned how to walk in a way that is better for my body. I have faith in God in a much deeper way now than I did before. Now I know that God has a plan for me, no matter what.

The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways. I don’t have to understand those ways; I just have to have faith.

#CerebralPalsy #ChronicPain #Recovery #Christianity

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I wish I had friends #MentalHealth #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Christianity

I just wish I had more really good friends you know? The kind that are basically more brothers than friends! His name is Scotty and he’s supposed to be like a brother to me and he already has told me that he had plans for this and next weekend. I have texted him and he hasn’t responded yet. I understand he’s probably busy. You’d have to know the whole story to kind of understand. To understand why I feel like he’s intentionally distancing himself from me. But either way I wish I had more friends that were that close like we used to be. It again it’s just a part of life and I have to accept it.

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