Christianity

According to my nights of worry I have been broke 3 times, had many marriage breakdowns, been sacked by my church, estranged from my kids etc etc.

In reality none of those things have happened. I hope I can rest in God and trust this truth the next time worry rears it’s ugly head.

I am at a palliative care unit with a lady from church. I don’t think she will see another day out. It is such a privilege to be with someone when their life journey is ending. Trivial things don’t matter and what does matter is crystal clear.

The nurses are amazing and so gentle. It’s time for this dear warrior to relax into the arms of Jesus. No more pain. No disappointment. She has run her race with dignity.

With the benefit of hindsight I have found this to be true. My goal is to hold onto this truth in the midst of the battle and not having to wait to it’s over before holding onto this truth.

Today I did something I have been pondering for awhile but frankly nervous to do. I reached out and made an appointment to see a therapist.

Last year when the court battle I was in was suddenly resolved when the police realised they had made a huge error and withdrew the vexatious charge against me I was so relieved and I thought I bounced back quickly. The three year period of consulting lawyers and Covid bringing havoc on the legal system was horrendous, but I thought I was ok.

I was vindicated and I agreed not to bring legal action against them. However I realised late last year I am angry. I am getting angry way too easily on the road and I am isolating myself from people.

So today made an appointment to start seeing a therapist. I shouldn’t be surprised. 7 surgeries in 7 months happening after the legal battle and the insanity that was Covid.

I am nervous and excited. Ignoring the truth won’t change it. I know I need help.

As I continue to recover from the surgery and the complications of pericarditis I am not doing much other than resting.

I have been reflecting on the eventful past 6 months and the multiple battles. Then last night as I was drifting off to sleep my Wife said to me, “God never has an emergency”. That’s because He is never surprised.

It seemed so obvious when you think about it but this hit me like a lightning bolt. May I always recall this truth.

A reminder for your day!!!

Hello to #TheMighty folks on this site! I am understanding my version of Christ has images and aspects of my painfully critical authority figures I have experienced in my younger life. So, this morning, after listening to a few older songs from an old worship playlist, I asked the Lord to please open my eyes to see him through his lens.

The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit that was evidently witnessed in the life of Jesus, as he walked this earth, caused many to draw NEARER to him rather than to flee from his presence. And in all honesty, the majority of those that were repulsed by his life, companions, and the healings he performed, were those who considered themselves as the most religious and closer to God members of society. But in reality, those religious folks failed to even recognize the very God they claimed to serve’s only begotten Son!

#christ #like #Christianity

I seek your thoughts. Believe it or not, this message stems from my conflicted soul that often flees to anxiety and fear when facing this dilemma on the “mission field” in which I have now been called.

My salvation occurred when I arrived at the end of myself. I…huge emphasis on this word I…had literally “did it MYYYYY WAYYYY.” But my way was NOT providing me life. After saying a prayer and asking if God and Jesus were “real,” I was miraculously set free by the King of Kings. And the following years, I worked with various ministry organizations.

However, my calling has shifted, I am now surrounded by Ivy League elites. And while here, I am constantly encouraged to elicit executives to submit proposals and share things I can honestly say, I dreamed about while serving the Lord as a missionary.

So much pump and circumstance occurs, as I am told by the “Ivies” how I…again, heavy emphasis on that one letter word…I need to “network and advertise MY potential.” Well, MY potential comes from conversing with my SAVIOR!!!

Thus, the juxtaposition of the internal self, often fueled by insecurity, must confront the redeemed spiritual self of being like Christ, the one who gave up his role to not only serve but die for others to have redemption. Sadly, I think the aspect of giving up ourselves is no longer a fashionable message discussed in the church circles I have encountered, of late.

But wait! Let me qualify this. I am not THAT spiritual. I don’t float around wearing a robe washing the feet of others with an extended smile across my face. Sadly, self-martyrdom is NOT an issue I must address, daily.

However, the realization of realizing how broken my life was, ANY success I now encounter is based SOLELY on the powerful act of redemption I encountered after asking the Lord God Almighty to rescue this soul. Mind you, this encounter happened at the tail end of the 70s Jesus Movement. As a testament of the work of Jesus in my life, I have lived through NUMEROUS miraculous unexpected and unexplainable events throughout my redeemed life; nearly 45 years!!!

So, I am now often taken aback when self-perfection is encouraged as a networking tool. And for what? Well, to make me a “more marketable” successful self-accomplished perfected contributor to society.

Any thoughts?

#ConflictedMind #salvation #redemption #Love

#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #sza #Schizophrenia #Autism #ASD #Autistic #AutisticAdults #AutismAcceptance #Aspergers #neurodiverse #Neurodiversity #TheNeurodiverseCrowd #MentalHealth #SchizophreniaQuestions #Depression #Disability #Hope #Christianity

Hello Mighty members!

I want to keep this to a reasonable length. I was diagnosed with autism disorder and schizoaffective disorder fairly recently in my life (5 years ago, as I was finishing up a Master’s degree in Psychology). In hindsight, I think autism helps to explain a lot of things that I have struggled. Though my parents, particularly my father don’t completely understand, I think it is wonderful that I was able to qualify and obtain a Community Living Waiver that my state and county offers. It is helping to obtain transportation which is helping me get to work. I am hoping that with work I will be able to afford housing and so that I can move and be more independent. (As I currently live with my parents.) I also applied and was able to get EBT/SNAP. In the past I was a bit fearful as my father has strong views and would see it as a crutch, so it took me a while until I was sure that he was OK with my getting it.

For schizoaffective disorder, it had come up fairly recently in my life as I was completing my Master’s. I talk more about it if you are interested in my other posts. I am taking Abilify and Invega and Zoloft which I find to be helpful with ameliorating my symptoms. I also believe that talk therapy is helping me to better myself and if I have any issues that come up that I find helpful talking about.

I am wondering if anyone might have some insight or feedback regarding my situation. I am currently a Dishwasher at a retirement community. It took me a while to find and get this job. (As I am trying to avoid jobs that would involve a lot of social interaction.) I think due to past mental health, I am looking at part-time work currently. Though I’m also interested in full-time. What options do you think are obtainable or reasonable for someone in my situation?

When I was doing well, I was a good student (getting mostly A’s and B’s in my courses). I was interested in the research side and helped several professors with individual research projects. (One for Analytical chemistry, one for Biochemistry which ended up being my undergraduate Honors thesis. And then for Quantitative Psychology which I did for my Master’s degree.) I want to get into research again or at some point in my career. I have different stressors at my current job as a Dishwasher. But for getting into research, I find that I’ve struggled due to lack of practical experience and connections. (Being on the autism spectrum, I find that I struggle with communication, advocating for myself, and with talking to people.) I had talked with a crisis line and they said that it might be harder with my conditions, but it is definitely doable.

Thank you for your interest and responses!