theydeservebetter

My 4 yr old and my 11 year old are the most beautiful souls i have ever witnessed. How do i deal with this... I HATE my existance. How dare GOD give such beautifully made creations to the horrendous likes of me?? Is this a joke GOD?? Its not funny. Do you think its fair for this little man to say "I love you mommy sooo much!" To someone like me?? I do NOT deserve them and they deserve FAR better than me. How do i deal with my anger at GOD for cursing me, hating me, using me as a punching bag and as soon as i stop fighting, stop hoping for a reason to live, gifting me two amazing souls to nourish and help grow when i have nothing left in me to give..... How DARE he... #angryatgod #ButYouDontLookSick #sickinthehead #cruelcreator #theydeservebetter #Depression #PTSD #Broken

I honestly don't like this time of the year🤦🏿‍♀️, I feel my kids deserve a better parent. I bought them so many different gifts, feeling like those material thing would make them happy 😞... They were overjoyed with excitement about all of the toys and games etc, and I still feel like it wasn't enough 😔. I don't understand why I'm like this, I HATE FEELING LIKE A BAD MOM. I do so much to protect, provide and show them they mean the world to me, and it's not enough for me. I think they would be better with someone else.
#Depression #OverwhelmingSadness #theywouldbebetteroffwithoutme #theydeservebetter