OverwhelmingSadness

Why in my deepest depression days do I feel so very alone? I feel like no one in the world can possibly feel as low as I do. I have been crying (wailing) most of the day. I had to change my contact lenses because there were so many dried tears stuck to them that I couldn’t see well.

I cannot go back and change the past. But I am not accepting the present. I’m terrified of the future. Life is too emotionally painful. Every day. Today especially. It’s been like this for over six months. Since my first and only major mistake: suicide attempt putting me in the hospital for 40 days. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want it. But I can’t put the pieces back together and now I’m more hopeless than I ever was before. Lord, please help me. Please!

I am looking forward to falling asleep tonight when I can escape my reality for a few hours.

Does anyone else feel this sad? Gosh, I hope not! But I could use some encouragement here. 😢😭 #Depression #OverwhelmingSadness #tears

All I can think about is being alone. I want to move to a cabin in the woods and say peace out. I love my family dearly but the pain I feel emotionally and physically makes me want solitude and quiet - to start over alone. #PTSD #Osteoarthritis #DDD #OverwhelmingSadness

I was already not in a good place, but suddenly I felt like inside of me went dark. What followed was an overwhelming sadness and I can't explain where it came from nor put into words what it is. #Depression #Sadness #MentalHealth #OverwhelmingSadness

I honestly don't like this time of the year🤦🏿‍♀️, I feel my kids deserve a better parent. I bought them so many different gifts, feeling like those material thing would make them happy 😞... They were overjoyed with excitement about all of the toys and games etc, and I still feel like it wasn't enough 😔. I don't understand why I'm like this, I HATE FEELING LIKE A BAD MOM. I do so much to protect, provide and show them they mean the world to me, and it's not enough for me. I think they would be better with someone else.
#Depression #OverwhelmingSadness #theywouldbebetteroffwithoutme #theydeservebetter

For those of u who watch I’m a celebrity you’d know that Ann from the chase was voted off tonight by the public. Ann is my #Autism hero because, as soneone who has autism myself, I admire what she’s had to overcome whilst being in the jungle. Hearing that she’s no longer a contestant has left me with a feeling of #OverwhelmingSadness and #Emptiness because she’s the reason why I started watching it. I’m kind of stuck now because my evenings r not gonna be the same. #CheckInWithMe

It’s one of those horrible nights where I wanna leave my relationship and maybe leave this life but I’m so fucking weak and attached and dependent that I hope he leaves me instead. He treats me like I’m nothing and I know part of me knows I deserve better but also part of me thinks this is as good as it’s gonna get....I’m so lost.

I look inside myself and there is just broken rain today.
The droplets pierce an empty balloon in my chest.
Less than empty. The air inside is so old and musty.
It reminds me of the 19th century clockwork factories
Lit by candles that drip wax into the mouths of the floor workers
Silencing their cries forever.
Rain and air are so important to life. We wash away the old pain of each dark, cloudless night, letting the sharp droplets cascade over our faces
In the breezy quiet of a grey dawn
Maybe, just for a few minutes, and just for today,
The air will be a little fresher than normal
And I will find the smile that I see inside, golden and tiny,
Lost underneath the arcana and lore of 40 confusing years
Still, though, I am grateful... I write. I think. I see. I love.
And even though my face may not tell the tale,
There is an indefatigable warmth under all the frustration
Caused by the piqued senses of time-warped nerve endings
Begging for respite
Begging for quiet
In a world that never stops talking.
The air and rain... they are ancient and they understand.
For many of us, they are the breath of a God we yearn to touch
Yet fear to worship
Go, friends, then, into that wind and rain
And proudly bear your burden with your jaw set and your eyes narrowed
For you are a Mighty!
And the Mighties will not be worn down - not by time, or by fate,
As long as we have the wind and rain to speak to us
And whisper hope of a new day.