Deep depression day
Why in my deepest depression days do I feel so very alone? I feel like no one in the world can possibly feel as low as I do. I have been crying (wailing) most of the day. I had to change my contact lenses because there were so many dried tears stuck to them that I couldn’t see well.
I cannot go back and change the past. But I am not accepting the present. I’m terrified of the future. Life is too emotionally painful. Every day. Today especially. It’s been like this for over six months. Since my first and only major mistake: suicide attempt putting me in the hospital for 40 days. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want it. But I can’t put the pieces back together and now I’m more hopeless than I ever was before. Lord, please help me. Please!
I am looking forward to falling asleep tonight when I can escape my reality for a few hours.