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How I'm Reclaiming the Month of October as a Trauma Survivor

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The month of October has historically been a traumatic month for me. It was the month where most of my traumas both as a child and as an adult have occurred.

October was the month where my dad died. October was the month where I was raped and sexually abused. October was when I started being stalked. October was the month where I was so physically abused, I ended up in the hospital with hydrocephalus, three fractured ribs and a broken eye socket. October was the
month when I began to have nightmares and flashbacks. October was the month where I was hospitalized and began experiencing thoughts of suicide. October was the month when my abusers decided to resurface and tried to pursue harmful, unhealthy relationships with me. For years I dreaded simple things such as going to the mailbox or answering my front door for fear of what I would find or who would be on the other side of my front door.

I have significant trauma over a 30 year span and I would be wrong if I tried to suppress it or hide from it. I am not hiding from it. I am facing my trauma head on. I am in therapy and processing. I am a survivor of abuse, rape and trauma. My trauma does not define me, but it is part of my history. History, that is what my traumas are. I choose to learn from my history and take active steps to protect myself today.

This year, October 2021, I am in a much healthier place. I am actually looking forward to this month and have a number of good things planned! I am looking forward to my days at work in my career. I look forward to coming to The Mighty site and reading the latest stories and thoughts. I am managing my own post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety and depression; family and relationships. I am looking this month to deepen my faith and join a small group.  I am actually reading a book for pleasure for the first time since college. This is
the month that I start my second to last term for my second Master’s degree.  This is the month where friends become family and true family relationships are strengthened. This is the month where I publish another story on The Mighty.  This is the month where I raise my voice against domestic violence! Will you join me and raise your voices against domestic violence! It is with these tasks that I am choosing to do in order to reclaim my month of October and making memories for the right reasons and not memories based on trauma. I am adding my experiences in order to give hope to others that there is life after trauma and that healing can happen!

When I turned 30 years old, I vowed that my 30s would be memorable for the right reasons. When I turned 30 I decided to turn a new leaf; please see my first story: 10 Lessons I Have Learned Approaching My 30s with PTSD. I decided that I was not going to let trauma effect me in such a great way. I decided I wanted to overcome and thrive. Today I am 33 years old and today I choose to reclaim my October and make new memories.

Please let me know in the comments what you are reclaiming in your own healing my #MightyTogether Followers! Sending positive vibes and prayers for you on your healing journeys. You are not alone!

Getty image by LUMEZIA

Originally published: October 7, 2021
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