#TraumaSo my son is making his first communion next Saturday. I was hoping the pandemic would keep my ex-in-laws from attending. Nope! Found out today that we can bring up to eight people besides the parents.

The last time I saw them was when my ex-mother in law died in July. Before that it was September 2019, right before I was admitted to a psych unit for major depression- directly resulting from years of being told how terrible I am, inconsiderate. A terrible wife and mother. They never reached out to me to ask how I was doing.

My ex-husband was a narcissist, lots of gaslighting in our marriage. I had a good relationship with my in-laws before our separation. My in-laws expressed any interest that I was even still alive.

They are still my son’s family and I don’t want that to be awkward for him. I’m still angry and my father in law is a nasty controlling person.

I am dreading this . I’m angry (and feeling like a terrible Christian ) that I feel this way about a day that is blessed and joyful. Thanks for reading this entire message:)