tryingtobegentle

I have been trying so hard for 7-8 solid years, she just can’t see my efforts, and my words she believes are fake basically. I love her and I am willing to go above and beyond, I don’t need her to give me any credit, I tried to defend her accusations that I don’t care about her, by reminding her of the types of things I do because I care. When I try to hug her she pushes me away about 75% of the time.
Also, she always says that I “make her feel” and I cause her anxiety and panic attacks. She has told me that I “make her feel that I don’t care” #Tryingtosupport #tryingtobegentle #husbandisclueless #supportive #failedmarriage

Today has been a rough day. I'm tired, and currently riding a wave of general melancholy and this together triggered some very intense episodes of disassociation today. Trying to be gentle with myself because I know I need it but I hate how out of it I feel right now. #disassociation #tryingtobegentle #CheckInWithMe #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder