So it’s one in the morning, I’m in too much pain to sleep, and now I’m overthinking. It just hit me that not only can I die at any time, but next week my friends and the people I grew up with will be graduating and I won’t be up there with them. Because I had to drop out, take a year off, fail. I know I made this choice last summer and I was upset about it, about the fact I wouldn’t get a prom or a diploma, but God, it just hit me. I’m barely functioning, my parents think I’m not trying enough and my friends are all being successful and travelling for college or moving out or getting better jobs and I can’t even remember to eat on time! I can’t work! I can’t take care of myself! And oh my god, am I failure?
#Epilepsy #Sudep #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #LivingWithPOTS #ChronicIllness #TheDisabledLife #Depression #severeanxiety #Insomnia #MentalHealth #disassociation #Schizophrenia
Day was good.
Until it wasn’t.
So used to ignoring key events, and my feelings, that I didn’t realize the rest of the day unfolded this way because of this initial morning incident.
Talk about lack of self awareness.
C-PTSD trigger? Check.
Disassociation followed it? Check.
Any and all helpful tips, or supportive thoughts, are much needed at the moment. ♥️
#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #cptsdawareness #cptsdsurvivor #cptsdwarrior #ptsd #disassociation
I’ve been cycling through #PanicAttacks attacks, #disassociation , and exhaustion for about a week. I haven’t used any unhealthy coping mechanisms but have tried to breathe through them. (I have previously been diagnosed with #CPTSD .)
I feel like I’m remembering A LOT but it starts out horrifying and confusing then, when the adrenaline passes, I kind of try to put everything in order. I feel like I can tell when the right memory clicks into the right place and once I have a more coherent picture, it doesn’t seem to change.
Could these be delusions or hallucinations? Or is that the denial talking? Is recovering memories this way even real?
Honestly, I don’t want to believe what I’m seeing/feeling/hearing when they come in unexpectedly. Still, I’m more afraid that something is wrong with my brain so trauma in the past would be preferable. I feel I’m in a good place in my life to try and deal with this.
(I do have an appointment to see a therapist. Just reaching out until then.)
Any input is appreciated!
I cannot begin to explain what my 2 dogs mean to me. What they have done for me. About two years ago I started #Dissassociating as a symptom of my #Depression . My dogs are often the only thing that can bring me back to ground, and have kept me #grounded , preventing me from floating away more times than I can count. Their love helps me keep going on the bad days and bring me joy on my good days.
#MentalHealth #Dogs #ForTheLoveOfDogs #disassociation #ChronicDepression
As my mental health has changed for both the better/worse over the years. I’ve always found comedy as a good reframing tool for the unpredictable events in life. When you can learn to laugh at it, it’s easier to learn how to live with it. #Bipolar2Disorder #disassociation
Lasting Bruxism from Fluoxetine, 4 years down the line, I take no medication & still grind my teeth all night, when I am anxious, subconsciously during the day & when I disassociate, has anyone been able to stop this? #Depression #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bruxism #disassociation #Fluoxetine
#Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #disassociation #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia
Today was rough. You would think a trip to the beach on my boat would be joy but I couldn’t enjoy it. I was just sitting at a restaurant by the beach getting ready to eat and all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t feel real, I could see straight, and had a panic attack. WHY?!?!!?! Does anyone know why this is happening to me out of no where. I feel like I get snap out of this... I’m disconnected. After the panic attack I cried so hard to my partner and shared what I’ve been going through for a month now. Severe panic and disassociation for absolutely no reason. I can’t live like this... #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #Depression #help
Was talking to my therapist about my tattoos and I dont remember my first one really hurting and she said " you might not have really been there". It was weird to think about a memory I had that might have been different than how I remember having it.