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Abusing my Mother

My mother is the only person who cares about me and I treat her very badly. My mum is always pushing me to do better. Make friends and socialise, get a new job and make more money, get a new car, clean the house up and get a girl friend.

I don't know if my mum realises how miserable and sad I am. I blame my mother for all my problems and she blames herself. She is literally the only person who calls me to see how I am and I push her away swearing at her and threatening her. I think she called me "by accident" after our conversation crying and said it was a mistake. I should feel terrible about the way I speak to my mother but somehow it relieves me of a lot of my troubles.

I am putting all my issues on my mother and causing her significant stress. I don't know how she feels because its all about me. Everything is about me and my troubles. I feel bad about how I speak to her but I think it is more about pushing her away and completely isolating myself. Once I am completely isolated is when I really consider whether my life is worth living. Fortunately or unfortunately, (depends on which way you want to look at it) she will never let that happen.

She will call again tomorrow, sometimes I wish she would let me be but I would be no better off. I love my mother more than anything and she knows that. I got clean and straightened my life out for my family with my mums support. No matter how much trouble I caused her she was always there for me. I feel bad treating her so poorly but she brings the worst out in me.

I hope my mum doesn't feel like she has failed as a mother. I think she feels bad because I am not happy, hurting and suffering.

I think she just wants me to be happy. She is not stupid and can see that I am miserable and hates seeing me this way.

#mum #motherslove #NeverGiveUp #Support #alwaysthere #reallove #Family #Truelove #Care #caring #Love #chillout #calmdown #emotional #respectful #Myfault #ownership #notherfault #mystory #Decisions #onlylove #imwrong #help #sheltered #supportive #EverythingWillBeOkay #Hope

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Post thoughts 💭😟💜

Read a post here(my tears!!!)

Wether you are or have been suffering from a certain kind of past/current issue with ((abuse)), or ((traumas)), of any kind or what ever the struggle may be- my heart and best of wishes goes out to you. 💜

A thing that helps me is knowing that
Safe Places Exist,. To remain strong as one of those people/places and trying my best to be supportive.

Without getting right into my past experiences with things or history on the spot here, I have gone through enough of that other stuff- found myself in some of what I would call some pretty hopeless places in my life - not to sound cliche or anything but there is HOPE. Actually there’s more than that but first off, please don’t give up! I tell myself this a lot too. Why I’m here still writing this when I should probably be studying more or getting some rest. BUT I had to do this since two of my posts of me pouring my heart out had been erased- but it was good to get it out! I used to write in journals or talk to my friends over the phone before ‘adulting’ kind of got in the way, I’m actually getting back to that since the pandemic-

Playing my favourite/expressive songs or read, draw, watch my favourite things to boost my mood or to defuse when it’s just me or even with others. We seem to get busy in our lives and sometimes forget to give ourselves the time for care and nurturing. Well I sure do /; this is something I want to always work on no matter where I go or what I do in life.

When the time is right or best to get done what needs to be done and get out what we need to.
I just wanted to spark suggestions/ideas or reminders of what can be of help in the meantime’s [never really knew what hobbies were until I realized I’ve actually had them] Reading/writing/sports/exercise/art/creativity/music..ect; <3 i="" support="" the="" causes="" of:="" keeping="" us="" and="" our="" safe="" places="" standing="" strong!="" (let’s="" maybe="" try="" to="" make="" this="" new="" kind="" of="" domino="" effect="" if="" we="" can!😊)="" being="" how="" much="" some="" other="" things="" can="" tryyy="" get="" in="" way="" or="" hold="" back="" like="" what="" has="" tried="" cause="" damage="" on="" progress.="" how’s="" about:="" a="" break="" through.="" for="" ourselves="" those="" care="" about.="" subjects="" are="" very="" touchy="" even="" listener(but="" don’t="" be="" discouraged),.="" it="" truly="" broken="" my="" heart="" just="" as="" others="" go="" through="" have="" gone="" too.="" seeing="" loved="" ones="" struggle="" because="" vicious="" cycle="" haven’t="" met="" personally.="" feel="" you="" &="" i’m="" sending="" love="" your="" too="">> This is all part of my own practice it’s not to try to start anything(unless it’s good;p)but I could really use some help myself. So many of us sharing the planet it’s not always easy to keep track on who needs help back or what they need as well as how or who to ask. To be all that you can or would like to be! I will want to look back at this and have achieved and reached a little further, with a dream to not have those behind,.💜 #Cares #goals #Support #supportive #understandings #worldly #Love <3


Boyfriend love #Autism #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth

I had proper meltdown at work, got week off. He is so supportive I went straight to his and he just cuddled me and I fell a sleep. He said everything will be ok. I just melted.
He gets the sensory issue he is a blanket man now and wasn’t before I met him.
He gets me even when am silent sometimes shout to go away and he never leaves me when am unsettled cuddles and films xx
Everything is 50/50 with him the same amount of effort and love from both partners and extra doses when needed x
He always says ring me at anytime and relationships are not just for the fun times but they are there when one of the partners needs the other to pick them back up xx #MentalHealth #Relationships #CheckInWithMe #Autism #supportive


Referred an assessment

Well, I poured my darkest thoughts out in my GP appointment and she was amazing. She listened, she validated me and my feelings stating that although she is not a mental health specialist, she does agree that it sounds like more than Depression and anxiety and meets the description of BPD. I've been referred for an assessment within the next 3-6 weeks. I couldn't have asked for it to go any better. I wish everyone were to experience such understanding.
#GP #supportive #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder


Comfortable Bras

For women with arm back and shoulder problems, what is your MOST comfortable bra, preferably wireless that will give you support but not dig into your shoulders or feel so cumbersome? HELP? I need new ideas... #comfortable #lightweight #supportive #bras


How can I help my wife know that I am trying with my all to support her? She has severe depression which started partly in Infertility, now we 4 kids

I have been trying so hard for 7-8 solid years, she just can’t see my efforts, and my words she believes are fake basically. I love her and I am willing to go above and beyond, I don’t need her to give me any credit, I tried to defend her accusations that I don’t care about her, by reminding her of the types of things I do because I care. When I try to hug her she pushes me away about 75% of the time.
Also, she always says that I “make her feel” and I cause her anxiety and panic attacks. She has told me that I “make her feel that I don’t care” #Tryingtosupport #tryingtobegentle #husbandisclueless #supportive #failedmarriage

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This is totally unrelated to #EhlersDanlosSyndrome /#JointHypermobilitySyndrome but...

This app seems to be full of some pretty #supportive people and I just wanted to share that I may have recently found the love of my life and when she calls me her princess it makes me melt in #Gay

#LGBTQ #Love

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#Boyfriend #supportive #Anxiety #PanicAttacks

I finally told my boyfriend the truth about my mental health. That is the most terrifying thing for me in any relationship. It usually goes one of two ways. He breaks up with me on the spot, or he says he'll be supportive and help, but breaks up with me when I have a panic attack around him. This time it was different. I told him that I had anxiety when we first started dating and he barely seemed phased by it. Today we were hanging out with a big group of hosts friends and it was a mess. Sensory overload and I had a bad panic attack. He immediately noticed something was wrong and asked if he needed to make up an excuse for us to leave. I didn't want to make him leave so I told him I could handle it I just needed to get away from the group for a minute. So he took me outside, sat down, pulled down next to him and hugged me while I cried. I was shaking so bad after that that he asked again if we needed to leave. I told him no, but I didn't want his friends to see me shaking. So when we went back in he held my hands to keep them from shaking and sat close enough that nobody else could see the rest of my body shake. Nobody has ever done anything like that for me and I feel so loved right now.


#Grief #supportive #SpousalSupport #Grandparent

We just, not even a week ago, lost my FIL. For my daughters’ entire lives, he lived 10 minutes away & was a part of all their celebrations. He took them fishing, attended all their talent shows , & was a very visible proud grandpa. But my husband’s really reeling. His father still lived in the house DH was born in, so all the memories are fresh & sharp. But my question is, to those who have gone through it, how do you express your own grief while supporting your spouse? My grief can’t even be in the same class as his, yet I loved his dad too. He was my FIL but acted like my father-in-fact.