So, a couple of weeks ago, I got a phone call at 8pm and it was a social worker from hospice calling to tell me that my mom is on hospice and is terminal due to dementia. Of course, I take it hard. That's my mom after all. The woman who gave me life, who took care of me, who made sure I had what I needed and more. There has been some family drama the past 5+ years.

Here's a little back story:
My mom has diabetes, high blood pressure, and she didn't take care of herself. Because of this, she is also legally blind. August 2016, she loses her right leg above the knee. April 2017, she loses the left knee below the kneee. Then 3 weeks later, they had to go back and go above the knee.

December 2018: My dad and I did the best we could, considering how stubborn and hard-headed she is. She said she wanted to give us a "break" and go stay with her brothers. Dad takes her up there and this is where the drama starts. They told us don't bother coming to see her. Said we neglected her, took her money, and just left her by herself. She ends up in a nursing home and we had to go to court in January 2020. She was deemed an incapacitated person and we had to have a third-party to be the guardian/conservator over mom.

Back to present-day:
I have not seen her in 2 1/2 years. I made the decision to not go and see her. I have all these people telling me that I need to go see her to give myself some peace. I'm fine. I don't want to remember my mom that way. In a fragile state, not looking like herself. There's not any bad blood between me and her. I've went through every scenario I could think of. I feel like I have to do what's best for me at this point. I've even had people say, "Well, what if she come back and haunts you?" Like, really?

Am I wrong for not going to see her? I love my mom but I don't want that to be the last memory I have of her. I want to remember her the way I do now.

#Dementia #Familydrama #tryingtodowhatsbestforme #lookingoutformymentalhealth