Familydrama

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Community Voices

She has another son....

Last night we went to my sister in laws and brother in laws for my birthday dinner. My brother in law is dying of cancer. He told my husband last night he wasn't going to be around much longer and my mother in law piped in "I will be right behind you".... Like to me that is insensitive, inconsiderate and flat out rude. She has another son, not just my brother in law. I told my husband how I feel about what she had said and he said "just reminds me of who the favorite child is". I told him I wanted to message her to express how inappropriate that was and to remind her she has another son, but I didn't and he was glad. I am still irritated for him. #Familydrama #cancersucks

Community Voices

Decisions, decisions...

So, a couple of weeks ago, I got a phone call at 8pm and it was a social worker from hospice calling to tell me that my mom is on hospice and is terminal due to dementia. Of course, I take it hard. That's my mom after all. The woman who gave me life, who took care of me, who made sure I had what I needed and more. There has been some family drama the past 5+ years.

Here's a little back story:
My mom has diabetes, high blood pressure, and she didn't take care of herself. Because of this, she is also legally blind. August 2016, she loses her right leg above the knee. April 2017, she loses the left knee below the kneee. Then 3 weeks later, they had to go back and go above the knee.

December 2018: My dad and I did the best we could, considering how stubborn and hard-headed she is. She said she wanted to give us a "break" and go stay with her brothers. Dad takes her up there and this is where the drama starts. They told us don't bother coming to see her. Said we neglected her, took her money, and just left her by herself. She ends up in a nursing home and we had to go to court in January 2020. She was deemed an incapacitated person and we had to have a third-party to be the guardian/conservator over mom.

Back to present-day:
I have not seen her in 2 1/2 years. I made the decision to not go and see her. I have all these people telling me that I need to go see her to give myself some peace. I'm fine. I don't want to remember my mom that way. In a fragile state, not looking like herself. There's not any bad blood between me and her. I've went through every scenario I could think of. I feel like I have to do what's best for me at this point. I've even had people say, "Well, what if she come back and haunts you?" Like, really?

Am I wrong for not going to see her? I love my mom but I don't want that to be the last memory I have of her. I want to remember her the way I do now.

#Dementia #Familydrama #tryingtodowhatsbestforme #lookingoutformymentalhealth

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Community Voices

Advice?

Hello everyone. For those of you who know me know about my dysfunctional family. I'm planning on moving out soon and need some pointers and advice on how to make packing up my stuff and taking it out of the house go smoothly. Im thinking I need law enforcement due to the violence from the past. I honestly want to feel safe while removing my belongings and making sure nothing is broken or taken and that I'm not hurt. Idk how to talk to my family since they just choose to hear but not actually understand me. #Advice #movingout #Familydrama #thinkingofmymentalandphysicalhealth #Anxiety #Stress #SituationalDepression

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Community Voices

Fucked

I love my family they love me too and recently I lost my mother to cancer. I have never hated anyone in my entire life other than my grandmother because of some past histories and now she’s over here at my home manipulating my dad against me and taking over my mother’s place. I know I am capable of taking care of my brother and my dad but when this lady is here, I just turn unproductive and it feels like I’m living in a cage. I don’t know how to handle this, I’d love some suggestions. #Familydrama #fuckedup

Community Voices
Community Voices

came onto the mighty for a little escape from the holiday anxiety and expectations. How is everyone today? Today has been a rough day for me, but currently I’m thinking about goals for 2020? Struggling to think positive 😬😬 #Anxiety #Depression #Familydrama

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Community Voices

Change of perspective

I'm staying with my folks right now. Dad was grilling dinner and got annoying by something. At this point what would USUALLY happen is my dad would get angry and put my mom and myself on edge. Mom would try to placate him, and I would try to keep him from lashing out (verbally) at my mother.

HOWEVER, this time I chose to stop what I was doing, take a few deep breaths, remind myself I only have power over myself and my reactions, and I chose to not react to my father's behavior. Somehow it must have rubbed off on my mom who also stayed calm. Soon enough my dad calmed down, and we had a pleasant dinner. :)
#52SmallThings #CheerMeOn #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #Familydrama

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