What do you do for self-care to prepare for a difficult day?
My husband is showing signs of early dementia (64 yrs old). His mother had it and he doesn't want to "know", so he is refusing to get help from our doctor. He has a hard time focusing on a task and is easily distracted, is having trouble remembering the right word for something, forgot how to get hot water out of the kitchen sink faucet (others okay), is having a hard time learning new things, he gets angry quickly and has no patience etc. He says he is starting to have trouble swallowing and getting his fingers to type. Anti-depressants have helped with his anger and sleepiness. I know he is scared of this, but I'm wearing myself out dealing with it while he refuses to get help for it. Maybe they could do something to slow down the progression? Maybe it is something else causing the symptoms?
He got fired from his old job for "inappropriate behavior". Fortunately, they let him take early retirement instead. So, we are now living on his retirement. He got a new job, but is sending ALL the money to Ukrainian relief groups. He has NEVER given away large sums of money before.
He is an adult and he won't listen to my objections to spending like this or suggestions for getting medical assistance.
Any suggestions on how I can get him to actually tell a doctor about his symptoms? What else can I do?
I'm new here!
Hi, my name is Lotus713. I'm here because I suffer from CIRS and Lyme Disease. I have thyroid, autonomic and auto-immune problems. I also suffer from dementia and parkinson's symptoms on and off daily and have lesions in my brain according to the Neuro Quant MRI I had done, along with loss of dopamine production.Everyday I feel more and more alone and depressed as my loved ones leave me.
How difficult to get on disability?
The Ocean Waits: A Poem About Dementia
The Ocean Waits
by Tiffany Maples
She doesn't know where she's at anymore.
She begs to go home from the time her feet hit the floor.
Some days she sleeps, but not for very long.
She cries often, but doesn't even know what's wrong.
I watch her struggle throughout her day.
So confused as I watch her beyond my dismay.
And often she sits and has little to say.
She's fumbles through her purse so much the fabric is starting to fray.
She's unsure what day is is, nor does she know the time.
She looks to me for answers or she waits for some sign.
A sign of what to do next, for she has no clue.
Even when I explain, she still doesn't know what to do.
She no longer knows who I am or even who she is, that's just so sad.
I try to guide her and help her, which only leads to her being mad.
Not at me, I know the truth, she's only scared and lost.
I assure her I am here and will be no matter the cost.
And our tears stream towards the floor,
Where there's already an ocean waiting to receive one more.
She struggles so hard to even complete a sentence.
So stubborn, trying to hold on to her independence.
She paces the house a million times a day.
I have to keep reminding her that everything will be ok.
I hold her each day as she cries.
She wonders why some people tell her lies.
"I'll come see you, I miss you so much",
but when they don't show, causes her to further lose touch.
She questions if she's a "bad person", must be why they don't come.
When reality is because she's out of funds.
This woman was once all put together, not a hair out of place.
Now most days I can't see her, not even a trace...
A trace of who she once was, so happy and strong.
Now her days are only monotonous and long.
And the tears stream towards the floor,
Where an ocean awaits to receive one more.
She calls my name from the other side of the door.
I’m instantly filled with dread,
but not because of anything she had said.
I feel helpless, I'm not sure what to do to ease her sorrows
Every attempt is empty, she will be the same way tomorrow
She was once the strongest person I ever knew.
Tough as nails, never afraid to take on something new.
They all said she was wise beyond her years,
Now she can only focus on her worst fears.
And her tears stream towards the floor,
where the ocean awaits to receive one more.
Her memories slip away, a little each day.
She’s angry, she’s sad, she’s mad, yet she can’t figure the words to say.
The struggle is real, but she faces it like a seethe,
but now she constantly worries if I'm going to leave.
No matter how many times I assure her that's just not true,
She's lost so much, she holds on tight to what's left, cuz they are so few.
She’s scared to die,
but I don’t know why?
How her soul has changed,
An angel is what she will be named.
She’s still right there to help with any chore or task,
She’s not sure what to do, but she’ll try anything that u ask.
It’s pure hell to witness her uphill battle filled with sadness,
but I would be nowhere else, she was there in all my madness.
Our roles have reversed.
We both feel cursed.
I will remain here with her, as we live through this hell.
I hope she knows how much I love her, cuz at times I can't tell.
All the tears that we’ve cried, she and I,
have created waves in the ocean, no one can deny.
And together our tears fall to the floor,
Where the Ocean awaits to receive even more.
To My Mom. I'll always be here.
Emotional abuse and threats
#I never thought at Fifty i would be living with someone that emotionally abused and threated me. They say tell someone to get help that never happened nobody wants to get involved with it, they just tell you what do think i should do or they say he is a good person and It will get better. Then he threats to kill you.
A part of me loves him very much. #you see he is mentally ill with schizophrenia and Bipolar and dementia but he doesn't want take is medication.
He no longer lives with because i started recording him and daring on of recording he threatens to kill me with a shot gun then one day he was going to burn down my house and last one was bash my head in after that the police came he was arrested for threatening me with a gun and keeping me from calling 911.