I knew the hard work would only just start now. Realisations... The moments you now sit there, a memory pops up and you just think "omg, it makes sense now!"
You think you can get over it now that you know the truth... But it just hurts more. It just doesn't make sense! All these years you thought there was something wrong with you, only to realise how they psychologically abused you all this time.
All your life you felt worthless, useless, unable... It finally makes sense... You understand why... But it hurts so much!
Although you know that they are sick and you keep telling yourself not to take it personally, you ask yourself why!? How could they? What did I ever do to deserve this!? I must have done something!?
And then, another realisation... "oh, wow!"... How often did they do these things without you realising?
You realise that your whole life was a lie... Now you understand why you always felt so lost.
I try to allow these feelings, all of them, to flow through me... But damn, it hurts so bad... Mentally and physically!