exhausted

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    Mental Hospital

    I’ve never been to a mental hospital stay. I’ve been so so so close but was afraid to scare my kids. I often want to go especially here lately. Just to get away from life and reality which has become unmanageable and almost unbearable lately. But again don’t want my kids upset and living in a small town makes it tricky as well. I’ve heard not so many good things about those places and also I don’t work as I’m on disability so it’s not like I can’t just manage at home so why do I want to go there? I feel it’s stupid but something inside of me keeps pulling me to want to go. It makes no sense. I have a therapist see every two weeks and a psychiatrist. I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Taking my meds, trying to rest as much as possible, etc. so why do I feel the urge to go away a few days? I have my fears certainly about the place! For as long as I can remember I wanted to go to the hospital for a few days. I don’t want to be really sick or hurt but I’ve fantasized about being in the hospital… being taken care of and no responsibility or concerns.. no cooking or cleaning. Etc what’s wrong with me. #BipolarDepression #CPTSD #MentalHealth #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #Sadness #exhausted

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    Just One of Those Days

    Have you ever had a day where you just want to throw your hands in the air and just say, “I’m done!” However, you know throwing your arms in the air aren’t possible in the first place because you hurt so very much. Also, you have way too many responsibilities as a parent and spouse to do just throw in the towel. I suffer from Rheumtoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, CRPS, Scoliosis, and Lupus and am currently in a massive flare. I’m exhausted and in pain, but I can’t rest or get comfortable. I work full time as a Special Education Teacher and have to walk from one side of the building to the other all day long and use every bit of my possible energy at work so when I get home I have no spoons/energy left when I get home. It’s also my daughter’s senior year in high school and she’s currently in the middle of softball with playoffs about to start.
    I am not scheduled for an infusion until November and haven’t had one in forever due to going into liver failure and being diagnosed with Autoimmune Hepatitis over the summer. I swannee my immune system is truly trying to kill me! I’m so ready to feel better but don’t when that will be. Today is just one of those days when I feel like and realize this is possibly what the remainder of my life and body is going to feel like. Yuck! The bright spots in all of this is I have an amazing support system in my family including my husband, parents, in-laws, children, and friends. I also have my faith in Jesus and that He is watching over me and helping me through it all.
    I apologize for my rambling. I just know only people who experience this truly understand the frustration and sadness of living in chronic pain.
    Thank you for reading this far.
    #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #chronicmigraine #RaynaudsPhenomenon #AutoimmuneDisease #AutoimmuneHepatitis #Spoonie #exhausted

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    See full photo

    “I’m exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel.” Hit home for me, I always am at a lost for words. This right here hit the nail on the head. I am exhausted. I am exhausted from fighting an invisible fight. I am exhausted from feeling along. I am exhausted for doing a bear minimum. I constantly am tracking my spoons, I have to reserve two just to make it to and from work not including the spoons I need to function at work. I am exhausted that there seems to be no light. I am exhausted from feeling exhausted. I am exhausted from having to rely on others when I am usly the one that everyone goes to. The list could go on. #MixedConnectiveTissueDiseaseMCTD #Depression #stepparent #Anxiety #stressed #spiral #NeedSupport #exhausted #Trauma #RaynaudsPhenomenon

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    All I do is cry …

    I’m a newlywed and all I do is cry … it’s coming up about a month since my wedding day. I feel like my depression is back all I do is cry. I hate it I’m not happy at all, sad it’s over. The fairytales lied. I HATE living such an emotional life. I’m so sick of it. #Depression #igiveup #exhausted #dispointed #Agoraphobia

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    When they're back stronger🥺

    Hi. It's been quite a while since we last talked. 4 months to be exact. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you....coming in here only when I need you. I'm sorry.

    Things were alright for the past 3 months. My roller coaster had turned into a normal train... Atleast I thought so. I ate when I was hungry and didn't when I was not. But please don't be angry.. I did have food in my system, even it was just once a day. I...
    But something went wrong today. Right now its 1.02am where I live. I had gone to bed around 11 today I guess... Which is early compared to the other days.
    The next thing I knew I was dragging and pulling and pushing my half asleep boday into the nearest washroom. Just as I dressed up thinking it was only a loose bowel.. I lost it again. I legit sat.. Or more bent into the toilet puking my guts out. And when I say guts out..yes almost all of me. Its hurts love. It hurts so fking much. Idk what to do. I don't wanna wake anyone up. Here I am lying on the couch waiting for the next trigger. Chills running chaos. Breathing softly. Soothing my Lil body. How I wish my inside had another mouth of its own.. So it could tell me what was wrong this time.

    #tired #exhausted

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    I’m new here! Hello!

    I have lived with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue since I was 14 years old. I was recently diagnosed with CKD Stage 3A (which is scary to me), and a rare condition called Hypophosphatasia (adult onset). I am also immunocompromised and get sick almost weekly or every 10 days with something new. Hoping that being a part of a support community that can understand, will be an encouragement in my life. I am so weary of it all!
    #weary #persevere #OnedayAtaTime #exhausted

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    Ughh

    Day 2 of trying to come off my sleep med. It's currently 5am. I fell asleep around 4 in the morning last night. So I'm only running on about an hour of sleep at best. I'm exhausted but apparently not enough to fall asleep. 😑 With any luck I'll fall asleep again and get maybe two more hours of sleep. My body just won't shut down though... I'm gonna keep trying to sleep though. Wish me luck 😂

    #Insomnia #exhausted

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    What am I doing wrong?

    I really want to find support and/or help here, but I cannot figure out how to do so? Can someone please help? #TraumaticBrainInjury #confused #alone #cognitive -overload #exhausted

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    Does anyone else ever look at the other humans around you and wonder wtf am I doing on this planet? Just me?
    #exhausted #MightyTogether

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    Rough Two Months...

    Since my grandma's passing, I've been around my family nonstop. I loved it, but I'm very tired. Work has been taxing as well because coworker relations are complicated. There is a couple there whose relationship is ridiculous and immature. If they get into it, she'll miss work for x amount of days without warning. It's not even his shift, but he's there to keep her from getting fired. Earlier, she ditched me to help him even though he had people to help him. Yes I'm pissed, but I'll move passed it because I have already decided to keep my distance because my sanity is more important. Also, I think I've reached a place where I'm so mentally over the disappointments in my life where I've stopped caring. I'm no longer waiting for the good parts to come. I don't see it as a bad thing, it's given me some room for other things. As of right now, I really need to rest and properly grieve. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Grief #exhausted