My expectations were low, but…
Living with a narcissist with an addiction is an experience that has made me question a lot of things. Not just about myself, but about my future relationships, and so many other aspects of life in general. After all of my ongoing research on narcissists and my life experiences, this has led my gut feeling to speak its mind in a number of times. And what bothers me about that is how spot on it could be. I knew something wasn’t right from the beginning when my parents got back together after a short separation. I understood that there is a cycle that happens every time he says that he is going to change. I kept my expectations low because if he doesn’t follow through, I wouldn’t be as disappointed. For the last few weeks, my mom and her husband have been spending a lot of time together, he started talking to my brother again, and his interaction with me is limited. Everything was “normal” for a time. But, yesterday, I was rushing to the kitchen to put something away and I walked in on him before he shifted his focus on something else. I don’t know if he noticed that I saw, but it did confirm things for me. It may have been a temporary relapse, he may have done it since he was allowed to come home, I’ll never know. I just know that if my mom walked in on him, she’d be very hurt because she thinks things are better now. It’s a weird space to be in. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #narcissist #Family
Well it's finally official.... I have the diagnosis of #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder and #AvoidantPersonalityDisorder . I've told 2 friends so far, but not my husband. He's self-admittedly "extremely judgemental" and very quick to make those judgements. I don't think he'll believe me, especially since recently he doesn't believe anything I say.... not even my food preferences.
I've asked him to join a few of my therapy sessions, to learn about me, but it's been a couple weeks and no response still. I've only come to realize that he's a #narcissist in the last year. But since my diagnosis, my therapist is now unsure if he should join us at all.
I don't know what to do and home life is pretty friggin hostile. #MajorDepressiveDisorder #TreatmentresistantDepression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #SocialAnxiety #possiblyBipolar #waitingforautismtesting