Today I had a disturbing conversation with a therapist (not mine) that is telling me that I should be okay with being called names and other verbal abuse, because this person, my partner, is behaving that way, because he feels unsupported by me and the rest of his family.

There have been several times that my partner almost died and two days ago that was also the case. Unfortunately the next plane out was taking 40hours to get there and I do not have the money to fly out. According to the doctor, that is an excuse. If I wanted to, I could just come. Closed borders or not. He clearly sees lots of options that I don’t have.

He also says that I have no right to want to repair the relationship first, if possible. In his opinion he wants me to be on the next plane out, abandon my children (one with additional needs) and support my partner who is sick and needs support while accessing therapy.

At any time that I remind him that there are two sides to every story and everyone needs to change in this relationship, he starts yelling that I am putting it back on my partner, ‘how dare I punish him by not turning up when he is sick’. ‘How dare I punish him for saying hurtful and downright abusive things and leave him to die on his own?’ And as a result he will discontinue the therapy for my partner.

I just had to type it out to see the ridiculousness of it. #verbalabuse #LongDistanceRelationship #unprofessionalprofessional