verbalabuse

I'm home from school for winter break. this break has been absolutely hell for me. my parents are pretty verbally absuive and the main thing they've hyper focused on for years now is my weight. they've been harassing me non stop about it because they're upset i didn't lose weight. they didn't gift me anything this christmas because they were mad i didn't lose the weight but gifted each other stuff. they have been yelling at me non stop since i got home and have been saying all these harmful things that have been taking a huge time on me. they go on about how i've been terrorizing them this semester and i never when to quit and that they're tired of me as a whole and done and if i don't quit i'm gonna have to find somewhere else to live cause he's not gonna pay for it. and then they go on to say all i've done is eat eat eat and its causing my face to explode and my stomach to explode and he went on a tangent about that and ended it off with "i hope you see it in yourself everything you go to the bathroom or look in the mirror". this entire break they've just be reiterating these things to me over and over again and i'm not sure how much i can take. they keep comparing me to my friends and say that they hope to see how bigger i am from my friends and how different i look from my friends. my dad says i'm killing him and he won't stand for being abused any longer so if this semester there isn't a change, i'm gonna be kicked out and have to figure out a way to pay for school and somewhere to live because i won't be welcome home. tomorrow's my birthday and all he's done today is yell at me because he got mad i didn't call my schools dietitian. he says i should be ashamed of my self and i don't know what shame is. i doubt i'll get anything like with christmas. i just want to go back to school. i just feel like all i do is disappoint them and i'm a horrible person and they're not afraid to verbalize that either. #Depression #Anxiety #verbalabuse

I recently got out of the hospital for #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation . I had an eleven day stay. I just got home last Wednesday. I learned a lot about boundaries and communicating my feelings and needs. I got my medication changed a bit. I left feeling so much better...stronger.

I set up boundaries with my toxic friend, only for him to steal from me. He gave me back my car keys and key to my apartment. But during his last visit he stole them back and then took my vehicle. He brought it back thankfully. I got all my keys back and am getting my locks changed. The relationship is Over...I finally had enough...enough of the abuse and enough strength to put an end to it.

I feel sad, hurt, angry, betrayed. I feel sad because I do love him and want good for him. But I know in order for me to stay emotionally well, it has to be over. I will greive my loss. The loss of companionship, the loss of who I used to be before we ever met, the many years of my life lost because I was too #codependent and anxious to leave it.

I'm grateful though to get back to living life without #verbalabuse #EmotionalAbuse . I'm learning I'm stronger and more courageous than I ever knew.

#toxicrelationship #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety

I really need a break right now but I can’t because I need to wake up and go to school everyday and face all of it I really can’t endure it anymore it feels like the only way I can escape is ya you know it’s getting worse #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #PTSD #PsychologicalAbuse #verbalabuse

I asked, no, I took a week off from this cycle of getting demands that I can’t do anything with and being told how wrong I do it all. It all just felt too much like punishment and not enough just simple love. I tried to practice some self care. The response was a long email that told me I am a selfish human being and I was told again that he is going to leave me and never return. Then later I got a phone call from his mental health worker. He had serious concerns. We don’t know if he is going to be found and what state he will be in. Well, this selfish human being is now up waiting to hear from a search team on the other side of the world and is worried.

Right now my spouse is under a LOT OF extra stress at work, stress he does not know how to manage and deal with socially. So his normal picking and criticizing on me has gone from a 3 to "11."

I'm from a hyper critical and neglectful home. I became a people pleaser and care taker as a result. Of course, constantly defending myself or explaining WHY I made a everyday little decisions is exhausting. He is more controlling than he will admit. With the autism he wants things to always go the way HE EXPECTS and life isn't like that.

When I am now standing up to him and learning assertiveness that is seen as DISRESPECT. Geez. He is so very sensitive and result offended. And yes, we are seeing a counselor, someone familiar with autism. But it is a S L o w process. I just want to get thru each day without him finding fault with me access complaining at me for everything ALL FUCKING DAY. Sorry. I just feel so overwhelmed exhausted derided and defeated. He says it's not his fault I feel these things cause it's my CHOICE how I feel. I believe it's my choice how I RESPOND. But he is not wanting to tale any ownership for his actions, bc to his way of thinking, he is just speaking logically.

Sigh...problem is all he ever notices and mentions is a constant litany of complaints. And it's not the complaints, so much as the expectation of an explanation so we can "discuss" how to keep that from happening again. Have u done this yet? WHY didn't u pick that up yet? Why did u do that? Why isn't dinner ready on time? Aauuuuggghhh! Ladies I feel so very depleted.

#spousewithaspbergers #Abuse ,domestic #verbalabuse #mentalabuse #PsychologicalAbuse

My therapist confirmed that I get verbal abused by my parents, especially by my mother. And I'm just not shocked and shocked at the same time. I just don't know how to react to it. It's insane that I really get abused, but at the same time I kinda knew it already and it wasn't much of a surprise for me. Maybe someone experienced the same, I'm just lost. 🤷‍♀️
#verbalabuse #verbalabusesurvivor #Abuse #emotional mental abuse #lost #Thought #teenager #Parents #mother #abusedbyparents

I'm feeling already bad to post this, because I think I'm overreacting. But I just read many articles about mental/verbal abuse from parents/the family and most of it sounds very familiar. I feel like they abuse me verbal, but at the same time, I know, that they love me. So they can't abuse me, right? How can I be sure? #verbalabuse #MentalHealth #mentalabuse #Abuse #Parents #Family #ChildhoodAbuse

It's been a while since I've been on here, but I felt myself drawn back today.

In January, I finally moved out of the house I shared with my (almost) ex-husband. (Here in NC, you have to be separated for a year before filing for #Divorce ). It's now the middle of July, and I am still struggling with leaving.

In my three years of marriage, the #Abuse started on our honeymoon, and from there it just escalated. It was a mixture of #EmotionalAbuse , #verbalabuse , and #spiritualabuse , and there was some physical intimidation. Eventually, after a lot of research, I came to believe my husband suffered from #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder , and I was suffering from Narcissistic Abuse.

Part of narcissistic abuse is this cycle of tearing someone down and gaslighting them, and then building them back up so that they won't leave you. And because of that, a person can end up attached to their abuser because their "emotional needs" are being met—even though it's the same person who's destroying them in the first place.

So, I know that getting over this isn't going to be easy. He still haunts my dreams most nights. But, gosh, I wish I could just move forward and stop feeling like I have a weighted chain hanging around my neck. I'm so tired of feeling exhausted and unmotivated and just...sad.

Could really use some words of inspiration or something to keep me going, because I'm feeling terribly defeated. 😣