It's been a while since I've been on here, but I felt myself drawn back today.
In January, I finally moved out of the house I shared with my (almost) ex-husband. (Here in NC, you have to be separated for a year before filing for #Divorce ). It's now the middle of July, and I am still struggling with leaving.
In my three years of marriage, the #Abuse started on our honeymoon, and from there it just escalated. It was a mixture of #EmotionalAbuse , #verbalabuse , and #spiritualabuse , and there was some physical intimidation. Eventually, after a lot of research, I came to believe my husband suffered from #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder , and I was suffering from Narcissistic Abuse.
Part of narcissistic abuse is this cycle of tearing someone down and gaslighting them, and then building them back up so that they won't leave you. And because of that, a person can end up attached to their abuser because their "emotional needs" are being met—even though it's the same person who's destroying them in the first place.
So, I know that getting over this isn't going to be easy. He still haunts my dreams most nights. But, gosh, I wish I could just move forward and stop feeling like I have a weighted chain hanging around my neck. I'm so tired of feeling exhausted and unmotivated and just...sad.
Could really use some words of inspiration or something to keep me going, because I'm feeling terribly defeated. 😣