having a mind that wont turn off, it wont stop analyzing, and it just wants to be loved yet is so unlovable…begs to die. but i cant kill myself. i have a 15 year old boy and several animals someone would have to care for. noone could love them like i do. yes his dad would care for him and he wouldnt have to deal with me anymore. his sister left us almost three years ago and doesn’t want to ever come back. cant blame her. im just messed up 100%. no drugs help. they make it worse, counseling doesn’t help much. i just want an end to this pain in my head. i dont want to live anymore. as if i was living anyway. noone loves me. noone wants me around. noone give a crap about me. so why should i stay? to continue the pain. the torment. the loneliness that plagues me to my core. tired of breathing and going through the motions of my bs life that everyone sees as so wonderful. its not when they are stuck in my stupid head. its fn hell. im so sick of it. wish something could just kill me. why do i always have to do everything? i hate my life. i wish i was never born and never had kids since im such a screwup in every way possible. its just too much to keep on with this nonsense . #hatelife mymindismessedup #Unlovable #unworthyoflove