whycantibenormal

so.. today was a good day for me. nothing in particular happened but it was a good day. my mind and body felt calm. i had energy. i was dancing around at work I wasn't in a great mood. but I wasn't sad. I wasn't meh. I smiled. I didn't overthink anything I didn't over analyze. until... until I realized I was having a good day.then it hit me. this is gonna suck. good days are harder than bad day. bad days you can always go up. there are the good days to look forward to. but good days. u just know they won't last. u want to hope and maybe even think this will kast. that ur brain is learning to function better. the work ur doin is helping. ur getting better. but the good days dont last.. maybe a few days at most. you know something is going to happen to upset you. bring you down
days like this almost suck. they are so bittersweet. I like me on these days.i miss this me. I almost forget this me exists outside of days like this. I wish I could be this way more. it sucks bc the bad days will show up. I want to be normal. God how I want normal. I hate knowing somwthing so small and stupid will make me spiral and get depressed and make me not this person. good days are harder than bad. I'd rather just stay content forever. not happy. not sad. no good day no bad days. just days #childoftrauma #BPD #CEN #whycantibenormal