overthinking

I have had two weeks that were like whirlwinds. My peace has been hijacked and I feel like I’m losing myself. So, I am super determined to reclaim my peace during my weekend. I’ve written four cards with common words that I often use for my kids to read. But other than that I won’t be using my vocal cords. My goal is to meditate, clear my mind and to drown out all the noise. Also I’ll be detoxing from social media, emails, and phone calls. I’ll report back one I’m complete because it will be a challenging 48hrs.

Wish me luck.🖤🙏🏽

#peace #Meditation #overthinking #MentalHealth #TheMighty #Bekind #MightyTogether

I was reading here on the mighty about acceptance and it got me thinking....overthinking in fact, so much so that I wrote a poem about it. It’s not great but I hope it gives comfort to some of you who feel like you can’t be accepted for who you are.

Accept yourself

Acceptance and love people claim comes from above..

Yet when it comes to it is “acceptance” in most instances real?

Is it some fictions phrase or is it something YOU feel?

Is it something you really need from anyone else?

Or is it something we can give to ourself?

Can you come and put this on for size??

With most people they say they “accept” you but that’s only lies..

What then is true acceptance?

Is it love? Unconditionally provided to you?

Or...is it something else worth working to?
Give YOURSELF!

Because you can and will..Find others’ acceptance still..

The true kind..the kind you’d always wished you’d find..

For now just work on yourself..

That is true acceptance

So put the nasty opinions of others back on the shelf..where they belong!

You only need acceptance from yourself because YOU are strong! - a short poem by camron botha

#Poetry #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Selfacceptance #ADHD #overthinking #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MightyPoets #Selflove #Youarestrong #LoveYouMore #loveyourself #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicFatigue #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Abuse #youareworthy

Sadly, last week was disastroustly stressful. My mom had an accident on my brand new carpet that I had to clean up then that weekend I got yelled at by my bitter eldest sister. I was so baffled and confused.

My entire heart felt like it was becoming detach so that it can begin to fall into a never ending void.

I was so taken aback because I was unsure as to why she verbally attacked me. Especially when she knew of the week I had caring for our mom.

Now, to give a bit of insight on our relationship. My sister is one of those people who has a super short temper. And it’s like walking on eggshells when you enter a conversation with her. I always have to make sure that I am mentally prepared for whatever she decides to sprew before answering any of her calls.

I am writing this on The Mighty so that I can get it out of my heart and move on to the healing phase. Because this happened last Sunday and I’ve been tossing and turning, losing sleep over it every since.

Because when you have sacrificed so much for a person and not receive the same efforts in return it becomes torture to one’s mental health. I am thinking though when I look back that maybe she was only pretending to be nice to me so that she can use me.

I have traveled 9hrs to be there for her when she was sick. I loaned her money on several different occasions whenever she asked and she has never paid back what she owed. Also just a little FYI me loaning money to her has always put my family in a financial bind but we always just try and use local resources that we have within our community.

However, I think that when I finally told her that I couldn’t loan her anymore money that was when she decided to be disrespectful. I told her that my husband and I went out for tacos and she screamed in my ear asking why I didn’t bring our mom along.

I am a caregiver for my mom but this was a night out for my husband and I. And on another note. No one else has offered to help care for our mom. I’ve had her for two years and whenever I call to let them know that I need help I get no response. Plus what business was it for her to even question me about our mom when she don’t even pick up the phone to call and check on her. She has never offered to let her stay with her for a holiday to give me a break.

Every since the ordeal with her I have been having a headache and my hair seems to be shedding because of the stress. So I am going to leave this here on the mighty and take a break from social media to focus on clearing my mind, removing toxic people from my life, and to make a promise to myself to never allow a toxic family member back into my life (this isn’t my first rodeo with her). I tried to cut ties with her before but she called apologizing once before and like I stated before I believe she only did that to have access to my kindness. Only to take advantage of me.

I close this in hopes to move on, reduce stress, and to get back to happiness. Because my taco night with my husband was pure happiness until my toxic sister called to ruin it all for me.

#overthinking #PTSD #DysfunctionalFamily

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar #Depression #Anxiety #overthinking

#overthinking #BPD #BipolarDisorder

I have a really close friend that is always giving me great advice. As a BPD personality, I tend to overthink, ramble incessantly, lose focus and waste a lot of time on unimportant things. He always tells me to “stop and write this down”. He then tells me to “breathe”, “just be”, “just exist” “keep it simple”. I’ve taken his words and put them on paper and taped to my walls. They help and inspire! I figured why not see if this can help others too. That’s why I created this group. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar #Depression #Anxiety #overthinking