If youāve never heard the term ācomplex traumaā before, youāre not alone.Ā Complex trauma essentially refers to exposure to trauma over long periods of time,Ā often during childhood. In some cases, complex trauma leads to mental health struggles like anxiety, depression andĀ complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD).
Anxiety due to complex trauma is often difficult to shake. This is something Mighty contributor Vicki Peterson wrote about in her piece, āWe Canāt Keep Treating Anxiety From Complex Trauma the Same Way We Treat Generalized Anxietyā:
For someone dealing with complex trauma, the anxiety they feel does not come from some mysterious unknown source or obsessing about whatĀ couldĀ happenā¦Ā For those who have experienced trauma, anxiety comes from an automatic physiological response to what hasĀ actually,Ā alreadyĀ happened. The brain and body have already lived through āworst case scenarioā situations, know what it feels like and are hell-bent on never going back there again.Ā
If youāre someone who struggles with the kind of anxiety that tries to keep you safe after surviving years of trauma, youāre not alone. We wanted to know what anxiety-related āhabitsā complex trauma survivors developed in adulthood, so we turned to our community to share their experiences.
We hope hearing from others helps you feel less alone in dealing with your complex trauma. To connect with others and get support from a community that truly cares, you can post on The Mighty using the hashtag #TraumaSurvivors.
Hereās what our community shared with us:
1. Having āUnhealthyā Relationships
āMy trauma experience has eventually made me feel less confident as an individual, therefore harming my ability to have a healthy relationship. I am filled with anxiousness and anxiety in any relationship and I tend to dive in head over heels or completely block out any chance of a connection with an individual. Two extreme differences, but both directly relate to my past traumatic relationships.ā ā Gretchen P.
2. Struggling to Trust Own Judgment
āI have a difficult time trusting my own judgment and/or perception. After my trauma, I experienced several breaks from reality or brief psychotic episodes. As a result, I constantly question myself. Am I reacting appropriately or is my anxiety driving me? I ask my trusted friends and families to listen to a given situation and then I ask them if Iām responding appropriately.āĀ ā Sonia R.
3. Isolating
āI spend a lot of time alone in my room because it is my safe haven. I can read, sleep, watch a movie or whatever I want to help calm my anxiety. In a way, I am isolating myself from everybody else because I canāt stand crowds of people and it makes me feel more in control of myself and helps me figure things out. But people think I am ignoring them or they feel like I donāt want to be around them.āĀ ā Sarah H.
āI close myself off from those around me, the people I work with, even family and friends. They think I am mad and am giving them the silent treatment, but it usually means one of two things: I am terrified and trying to protect myself or I have gone emotionally ānumbā and I just donāt care about anything around me.āĀ ā Tammy C.
4. Being the āLife of the Partyā
āBeing the life of the party. It sounds strange, but I always used to try to keep my abusive mother pleased. So I would try to be funny and put on shows. I have social anxiety, so when I am put in those situations, I revert to trying to be entertaining even though Iām scared inside.āĀ ā Jeneane M.
5. Avoiding Public Places
āI was once an extrovertĀ ā very social, always happy and the life of the party! Now I get anxiety just thinking about going out with the public. I freak out! I have to force myself to go places I once had no problem with.āĀ ā Allison F.
āStay away from ābigā stores and places where there are a lot of people.āĀ ā Tammy R.
6. Holding Back Emotions
āI hold back my emotions and keep things to myself. I was forced to never show emotion due to an abusive home because of my step dad, his mother, and brother. Because I hold my emotions back, my mom and sister think I donāt care about anything evenĀ though Iām constantly stressed, worried and have anxiety/depression episodes. They tell me to open up, but I feel like I canāt.āĀ ā Ariel A.
7. Oversleeping
āOversleep. To an extreme. And Iām always tired because I sleep terribly due to nightmares and being an insanely light sleeper.āĀ ā Michelle A.
8. Feeling Uncomfortable Around New People
āIām very quiet with groups of people Iām not familiar with, even if weāve hung out a handful of times⦠I also sometimes get so overwhelmed I will go off on my own in a quiet/dark room and separate myself to decompress. I donāt say anything, I just disappear.āĀ ā Mia R.
9. Skin Picking
āPicking at my face, nails, and body. I cause myself to bleed so much without realizing, just from anxiety.āĀ ā Ember H.
āI get frustrated super easy. I also pick at the skin on my fingers.āĀ ā Carrie G.
10. Fearing Abandonment
āI am very needy and then I also push people away without meaning to. People may think I am difficult but I just have a fear of being abandoned.āĀ ā Sophie R.
11. Wringing Your Hands
āI wring my hands. Most of the time I donāt even know Iām doing it. I could be in a social setting, appear to be listening to what is being said. Wringing my hands, I donāt even tune into the conversation, but give the obligatory nod or chuckle. The hand thing allows me to stay mostly grounded until it is socially acceptable to remove myself.āĀ ā Tara S.
12. Over-Explaining
āOver-explaining, especially if Iāve done something wrong. I feel like Iām on trial and I have to compensate for every little detail and the reason why. Perfectionism, overworking and feeling like I am under some invisible obligation to help people. A difficulty with putting my feelings first.āĀ ā Ketsi H.
13.Ā Struggling With Suicidal Thoughts
āHave suicidal thoughts almost every day just to escape the trauma. My mom thinks Iām overreactingā¦āĀ ā Laura F.
If you experience suicidal thoughts because of your complex trauma, there is help available. If you need support now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or reach the Crisis Text Line by texting āSTARTā to 741741.
14. Getting Easily Startled
āIām easily startled. Mostly at work and Iām in a busy kitchen where staff accidentally brush past each other which is normal when we are busy but the brief unexpected contact can give me a slight fright and my whole body will ājump.ā Itās annoying and embarrassing but itās my body always on high alert.āĀ ā Samantha H.
āI scare really easily and jump at the slightest of things. People think itās funny and I pretend it is too, but itās not at all. I hate the feeling so much.āĀ ā Justine E.
15. Being Hypervigilant
āI donāt think people realize how hypervigilant I am! Iām always seeing, always watching, always trying to anticipate othersā actions and reactions! Itās absolutely exhausting and I canāt seem to switch it off!āĀ āEmily S.
16. Having āOutburstsā of Anger
āOutbursts of anger rooted in deep frustration of how Iām feeling and how much anxiety impacts my well-being at times.āĀ ā Gaylene T.
17. Leaving Social Situations Abruptly
āI leave social situations abruptly. I become overwhelmed suddenly by a random association and have to leave. People always get offended and think Iām snotty and pretentious. In reality, Iām silently freaking out.āĀ ā Laurel S.
When you live with anxiety due to complex trauma,Ā itās natural to feel like no one āgetsā what youāre going through. We hope that reading about othersā habits and experiences helps you feel less alone.
To connect with other trauma survivors who understand what itās like to live with complex trauma by posting a Thought or Question on The Mighty using the hashtag #TraumaSurvivors.
GettyImages photo via Grandfailure