agingparents

For years my version of caring for my father was asking "how are you feeling?" every evening. Nineteen years of diabetes and I thought that question was doing something.

It wasn't. He always said fine. He wasn't lying — he genuinely felt fine. That's the part I didn't understand for a long time: with some conditions the body stops reporting. Feeling fine and being fine drift apart quietly, and nobody announces it.

So I changed the question. Now I ask about specific things. Did you sleep flat or propped up. Show me your feet. When did you last stand up too fast.

He finds it irritating. I'd rather be irritating than relieved by an answer that means nothing.

If you're caring for a parent with a chronic condition — what's the one question you've learned to stop asking? OPTEEHEALTH

#Diabetes #Caregiving #Caregivers #agingparents