Assuming

× " So Man These People Just Won't Stop.. I Got A Text Saying You Make Enough Money For Rent.. Or Are You Planning On Moving Back To El Paso.. And That I Never Ask For Any Help.. I Did And I Met With Eye Roll's And Yelling.. And I Have To Wait Until They Are Un Busy... I Think So.. I Have Never Met A Whole Family Who Loves To Complain About Everything. Yes I Know October Is Coming Up.. Geez I'm Trying To Safely Not Get Ripped Off When Finding A Room Or An Apartment.. Everything People Ask In Rent Is 1,000+ 🙄 Can't Win With Anyone This Is Why I Close Myself Off To The Entire World Of Human's. I Would Laugh If The Next Person Ends Up Here.. Boy They Are In For A Surprise. I Texted Back Yes To Move Back To That Shit Hole Even Though I Don't Want Too " × #venting ☆ S.K. ☆ #SorryForCussingImFrustrated

Trust issues.

I alway lied and said I didn’t have any. Psh I’m good right? But I think the truth is that I have a lot of trust issues. I mean for good reason, my mom and dad left when things got to hard. Really they were in and out my entire life. I bounced around living with different family members depending on who had time and space for me. Never had a stable home growing up and fuck still don’t. I stayed with a man for 6 years because it was the most stable home & family I’ve ever had even though I knew I didn’t love him and he wasn’t where I should be. When I left I went back to bouncing from place to place trying to find a stable future but yet I can’t trust anyone because everyone from my past left. When things got to hard, when I showed my bad side, my sad side. When their life became to hectic and there wasn’t space for some weirdo with anxiety problems. So now it’s effecting my relationships. Guess I shouldn’t be shocked. I love the relationship I’m in but my mind always assumes stuff. For example, today we went and changed my oil at his shop and after he said he was gonna work on his truck a bit and go stop by his dads. Sounds perfectly fine, right? So why did my mind automatically without hesitation assume he just didn’t want to be around me or he was going somewhere else. He has never lied to me, even if something happens that will upset me. He was always been 100 with me because he knows about my anxiety. I trust him, but my brain can’t trust anyone. Will I always be like this?