Birthdaydepression

Depression almost always wishes me a not so happy birthday. This has been true for me since I was a kid. I remember crying on my birthday countless times. And when I heard lyrics to "It's My Party" during a movie I watched when I was little. I related so much to the chorus:

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to

Cry if I want to

Cry if I want to

You would cry too, if it happened to you

One of the causes for my depression occurring on my birthday would be because I felt that I was forgotten about and that not many people truly celebrated me. I often wanted to feel super loved and cared for. My feelings seem to be super sensitive on my birthday.

And as an adult I'm thinking like, maybe I should avoid it all together like Prince did. But then I want to celebrate myself. Even if everyone else fails at celebrating my existence.

Last year my birthday collided with Mother's Day, and I was so deep into the hole of depression that even my kids noticed.

So, tomorrow will be the day I celebrate yet another birthday. And I am thinking of not making a big deal of it. I may sneak off and do something for myself. I'll have a solo birthday if at all possible.

Hopefully I make it through the day without feeling sad. Because today is pretty awesome since I received an email from The Mighty team that my story has been accepted for publication.

##I am incredibly grateful for that.

In the photo I am rockin' a Joker t-shirt that my hubby gifted me for Mother's Day, and we ended the night watching a horror film and I was all smiles. I was happy. And I hope for happiness for my birthday too.