Being in a continuum of trauma after fleeing my home base city to one I knew noone in, was intended to Become a fresh start. You could say that. In future releases I will explain the sensational yet simultaneous inflictions of systematic violence that mirrored the exact violence placed upon me while on trial for getting out from under a man that had almost taken my life. Fast forward 3years duration of that trial in attempt to pick myself back up, again have been tossed around by a landlord in every capacity including lying to put me in jail saying i am violent and assault the 7"2 man that has now put me so far into dissociation...i couldn't obtain confidence in even walking let alone breathing without fear of this mans actions. And i was paying for them and still am. Known full well to system and small knit community we are situated in. I brought lawyers. His acts worsened. Started tribunal in court where at the 5th reading I was allowed to speak about my story...and of course branching off with fear of being silenced tried to grab at compartments unable from this severity of pushed and forced trauma by entities said to aide or prevent from this happening with knowedge and coping strategies.
In saying that...those who were there said they were proud of me but i cant remember what i said. I will no longer flight those who abuse me and this life lesson if doing exactly what im doing us, and i pray, what heals all of this in my 1st world free country of Canada.
I started gardening this week and can walk with a little confidence. But My experience tells me i wont be good enough to get it done in flow or order. And this is because every step of the way...every human in my life has stripped what i knew to be true about the real world and intentions of others. I truly had no idea walking forward wasn't good enough and in fact caused more damage than anyone has available to fit my unique needs. I paint my story and plan on giving voice to others in similar situations as me. Thanks for your support, stories, and resolves. Stay Mighty. And generously share that might to hold up a woman on the brink of make or break for all battered women in Canadian legal and medical history books.
#CheerMeOn #dissociativetrance #dissociativeamnesia #complextrauma #developmentaltraumadisorder #CPTSD #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #DissociationDisorders #apeekthroughmylookingglassbysarahj #blackshunicorn