I'm abit afraid to post, I know how irrational that sounds. Most people are nice/empathetic but I'm still abit wary. 🙃
My anxiety has been quite high ... lately/in the past week especially - I'm still on the lookout for my next full-time role, although now I'm considering the possibility of taking freelance/contract work -- didn't want to entertain this possibility at first, but (I'm based in SG 🙃😏) I'm realising the potentially very real possibility that Asian startup bosses might prefer workslaves-- I mean- employees-- that can work overtime all day every day, compared to someone who is "I need to leave on the dot on [insert day]" - for part-time evening classes 🙃
That in mind (aside from personal speculation 😏🙃) I'm just reminded today that in the midst of my PT digital marketing dip .. well, final-assignments of each project can be quite massive it's a freaking full-ass campaign (previous one was 4 mediums of ads, current mod for which I just got the brief today is an Instagram audit + content angles proposal & execution) 🙃😏
I've applied to a few freelance stuff but I'm quite impatient lol - if I don't hear from the companies in a week, I usually take it that they're not considering me ... which I know, doesn't always work like that in the real world 🙃 Case in point, I got on the freelance team of a local up-and-coming non-profit and (obviously, got impatient) --upon a combination of enquiry + social media snooping (lol), I realise it's taking a while cos they're only just expanding operations so it will take a while to even organize frameworks before onboarding people, etc. They gave an interim reply that they're in the process, will reach out in due time etc.
In the midst of all of this - if I don't get anything by end of March, it's abt 6mo without an income, save for some adhoc writing I did for December. Having said that, therapy + teef things don't stop ... the dental front isn't so bad cos like now that I'm on retainers (YAY!) already, reviews are like 3months? I've got one in a week - but it's not like the 4- to 6-weekly it used to be 🙃
... so I'm feeling [more than a bit] anxious & sad at my dwindling bank account 🙃
I don't really know, I guess I'm cautiously trying to see if writing it out helps to process the anxiety a little ... any and all good wishes & prayers appreciated, I feel so ... desperate and sad and (frankly) a bit useless 😳
#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Selfesteem #Employment #CheerMeOn