domestic abuse survivors

I'm finding it very challenging to manage conflicts with my partner these days. Pretty much everything about the way he does conflict is triggering for me because of the past abuse. I could list out what I mean, but I don't want to spend a whole paragraph just talking poorly of him. I'm trying to tell myself he's not my abuser and that's not what he's doing but it's really difficult. Especially since when I explain that something is triggering for me and that I need him to do something different he's impatient about it. He says he understands but he also says I need to just relax more and sometimes also that my triggers are ridiculous or don't make sense. I agree, they don't always make sense but I think that's just how ptsd (or whatever it is) works. The feelings just sort of overwhelm you until you have healed from the trauma that caused that particular issue. Trouble is, they never heal if they’re constantly picked at.
I'm starting to feel like I can't talk to him or like I need to hide the things that bother me to maintain the relationship. I'm not talking about letting things go and picking your battles, because I do that too. I mean actually things that really affect me; burying them down to avoid conflict. I know that's not the right thing to do but at this point I find trying to communicate with him more upsetting than just accepting the behaviours that make me feel negatively. I'm not sure what I should do or how I can cope. Hoping you all have some wisdom here. We’re already in couples therapy and he is trying to pursue individual therapy. I’m in the process of being evaluated by my own doctor. Thank you ♥️

YES.

Narcissists tell on themselves all the time.

If you listen closely.

All the things they tell you during lovebombing, all the things they promise you they won't ever do to you, and all the promises they make about the future.

Are the EXACT opposite of what's going to happen.

All the things they judge people for, and all the things they tell you that people have done to them, all the behavior they tell you their exes are guilty of.

Are the EXACT things, that they themselves do.

All the little “warnings” they give you, that refer to dealing with them, such as “My ex did this n that, I dumped them, without an ounce of remorse”, “It takes a lot for me to start loving anyone”, or “I can be ruthless and mean, if you cross me”.

No matter what sentence follows those statements, like “But I would never do that to you”, or “But with you it feels different”, understand that those are true assertions about themselves. They count for any relationship, with anyone.

Yes, narcissists tell you everything about themselves,

They just do it in reverse.

(Source: www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-tell-on-themselves-if-you-listen)

#narcissists #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor #Abuse #EmotionalAbuse #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #DomesticAbuse #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #DomesticViolence #ChildhoodAbuse

Hi there! I'm on a journey of learning. Love having community though. Currently in the process of an MSW, policy directed. Figuring out life and mental health for myself in the process along the way.

Thinking of it as 'stepping into my power.' Would that be tripping up the stairs? Feels like all at once in this emotional whirlwind!

Little scrapes, cuts, and bruises and burns
Little invisible marks that trace the lines of my mistakes
I feel you curling under my skin
It keeps me awake
Reminding me of all the ways I’ve faltered
And all the pain I can’t seem to heal
I do not forgive her
But I should.

yahvebean.home.blog/2022/01/21/whats-a-machismo

Here a story of a little lady just to tell the facts about this world #Depression #MomGuilt #NationalDomesticViolenceHotline #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #DomesticAbuse #DomesticViolence don’t give up