Cheater

I have cheated on my husband twice.
AND HE IS STILL WITH ME!?!
BPD CAN WRECK LIVES .
I find myself often wanting validation, attention, affirmation...
I know that so many of the messages I get are FAKE ACCOUNTS...
I HATE THAT THEY MAKE ME FEEL GOOD FOR A SECOND, before I achieve them, then I'm OVERCOME BY #Guilt . and then feel so guilty for even being on the mighty... like im hiding something for my husband and then feel like im cheating.. :(
UGH!!!!! I dont know what to do. I am not on any social accounts because of my insecurities and lack of boundaries.... I dont want to go off here though.... so here I sit beating myself up #Low #BPD #Thoughts