A year gone by #depressedandinpain
A year ago today, I was waiting for my then boyfriend to come home from visiting with his friends a state over, this being the first time he went without me. I was almost through with one of my favorite animes, Ouran High school host club, when I got a Facebook message from the husband of his friend, saying that the husband kicked my boyfriend out for trying to sleep with his wife. When my now ex got home, he didnt bring it up, but when I confronted him, he didnt deny it. He ended up packing up while I was sleeping,waking me up and leaving February 9th. Not only did he break my heart, but he also broke my ability to trust someone like that again. Even after a year has passed, today it feels like something heavy and cold is clenching its clawed fist around my heart and suffocating me. The memories grow louder the more I fight them and my mind twists into shouts that anyone who would want to date me will just do the same as he did. I dont want to believe it, but... what if they're right? What if I'm just meant to be alone forever? I dont want to be, but I'll never be able to trust someone enough like that again.