College is 2 days in and I’m ready to be done
I started college band camp yesterday and I’m having a horrible time. I love playing the music and the thrill of performing, but it’s so fast paced and no one seems to care that I’m struggling. Never have I felt my dyspraxia hitting me so hard before this. It’s like every time I try to do something my body does something else and it’s so frustrating. People just keep telling me how to do stuff over and over again but I already know how I just can’t make it happen!! 😠 I’ve pointed out that I have a coordination disorder but it’s like my section leader just decided it wasn’t relevant. She won’t give me time to practice individually at my own pace but when I obviously play half my notes wrong and miss the other half she just says it sounds good. I ask for help and she just tells me it’s easy and I should just figure it out. I don’t know how I can keep this up. And I still haven’t made any friends, surprise surprise (sarcasm). When I told my section leader I didn’t have anyone to sit with at lunch she just told me that was rough and left me. We moved in early so there’s no other freshmen on campus, and when I tried to go to game night everyone ignored me. I thought band would be my “family” just like high school but it’s like no one even notices I’m here. On top of this my roommate seems to have no concept of cleaning, and just rinsed her dishes instead of using soap. And she left the bathroom so gross last night I had to clean it before bed. I try to point it out and she just brushes it off. I don’t know what to do and I just want to go home, I hate this
#Autism #Dyspraxia #developmentalcoordinationdisorder