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I Am So Stupid

Last Wednesday when I went to the ranch to fill bags with pellets for my horse; I discovered the ranch owner forgot to feed my horse in the morning. I totally lost it right in front of three other boarders. I had been having a bad day anyway and discovering the horse hadn’t eaten all day was the straw that that broke the camel’s back. Anyway I believe the other boarders told the ranch owner about my over-reaction and now she hasn’t been very happy with me since then. I am so ashamed of myself, embarrassed, and remorseful for my lapse in judgement. I feel like I owe them all apologies now. I was miserable all day with anxiety and worry over this mess I made. Now I am paralyzed with fear over this mess and scared that the ranch owner won’t like me anymore and it kills me because I adore her and really want to be good friends with her and the other boarders will think less of me. I also know that the boarders and maybe even the ranch owner don’t fully understand me because of my Autism, Severe Depression, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Dyspraxia. I do have a hard time controlling my emotions as a result of the above diagnoses. I feel guilt and remorse when my emotions get the best of me. I am so broken over all of this that I feel like I deserve to stay in my isolated non-existence because I can’t socialize properly anyway. All I’ve ever wanted is to feel accepted, understood, and loved. I don’t know what to do. However I am going to write them each an apology letter. I just don’t know if I should reveal my disabilities or if it’s going to sound like I am using them as an excuse for my actions. Thank you all for reading this. Any and all advice and suggestions are greatly appreciated. #Autism #ADHD #Depression #SocialAnxietyDisorder #Dyspraxia

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Do I need a diagnosis?

I'm getting more and more people noticing that I seem to have some form of neurodivergence, unsure if it's ADHD or autism - my suspicion is that if anything it's dyspraxia. But I've not had a formal diagnosis and while I'm struggling at the moment I don't know if getting a label for what's going on will help so I'm wondering if anyone had any experience of getting a diagnosis as an adult, in what way did that help and what was the process like? Or, if you've not gone down that route, how was that? #Neurodiversity #Dyspraxia

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Dyspraxia Foundation Fundraiser

I am walking 100 miles in February to raise money for Dyspraxia Foundation. Dyspraxia affects 10% of the population, including myself. The dyspraxia foundation have been a great help in the five years I have been with them. I am doing this challenge to ensure that they can keep helping Dyspraxics like myself and raise more awareness.

#Dyspraxia #DevelopmentalDyspraxia


100 miles in February for Dyspraxia Foundation

Help Charis Hawkley raise money to support Dyspraxia Foundation

I'm new here!

I'm here because I work full-time and struggle to have the energy for anything resembling a life (hobbies, friendships, new experiences, all that jazz) though I have a supportive partner and family, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place (the rock being our crumbling health service and welfare system, the hard place being my need to keep my job so I don't starve). As I don't use any kind of mobility aid, people rarely realise I have any kind of disability (until I open my mouth and put my foot right in it!) but several bouts of covid have left me permanently fatigued and some days it's an effort just to keep putting one foot in front of the other. If you've been through similar lived experiences and have any advice, I would love to chat.

#MightyTogether #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Dyspraxia #CarpalTunnelSyndrome

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