Differences

Recently, I saw a trend on social media that inspired me to do my version. It can be so insightful to hear from people who deal firsthand with what others are curious about. So here is my list of five things and my explanations.

Five things I wouldn't do as someone with a difference:

1. Ask someone about their difference as soon as I meet them, or approach them just to ask.

2. Give a backhanded compliment about someone's difference.

3. Be mean or unkind about someone else's difference.

4. Tell them they are perfect just the way they are.

5. Make a joke about their difference.

When someone approaches me and asks me what happened to me, without even introducing themselves or smiling at me first, I feel unseen as a person. It's genuinely uncomfortable for me when my scars become the total focus of who I am. I usually think that if this is all you see, you will never fully see me. I am so much more than what happened to me.

The first time I received a backhanded compliment, it broke my heart. I had worked so hard on my books, and I felt insulted when someone told me it was great I could accomplish things with my disability. I wanted to scream, what disability?

Over the years, people have genuinely made me feel bad for being different. I've had people stare at me, laugh, talk about me, and bully me because of it. I would never want to make anyone feel that way.

Honestly, I'm not too fond of the word perfect. None of us are perfect. When someone tells me that I am perfect just the way I am, it makes me feel the opposite. While I know God made me exactly like He wanted me to be, I am imperfect for a reason.

I don't joke about my scars because I don't want others to see them as a joke. However, I know humor is often a coping mechanism. I definitely use humor when dealing with other challenges. And I don't criticize someone else for how they deal with their difference. We all get to choose how we want to handle things.

I decided to do this from my perspective. Not as a way to make anyone feel bad. Sometimes I think it's just good to see a different perspective. I love Jesus' view on differences. When I read these scriptures years ago, it gave me such clarity on my scars.

John 9:1-3 KJV

9 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

#AmnioticBandSyndrome #Differences #MyCondition

I was invited to a Zoom call with my siblings. We come from a very blended family since our parents divorced and remarried so many times. I felt extremely anxious about attending at first but I attended anyway. After the call was over I spent the next 24 hours just thinking about all the ways I’m different from my siblings. And every difference that came to mind made me feel bad about myself. I also realize that while one of my brothers has one of the diagnoses I have, he also is much higher functioning than I am and he doesn’t have my exact life circumstances. I think that if anything this experience showed me I have more work to do on my self-esteem.