No light at the end of this tunnel
Not sure how much more of this I can take. There is zero light at the end of this tunnel. I don’t see how it will ever get better anymore. I’ve watched (my husbands delusions) just progressively get worse and worse to where now he always thinks I’m cheating or doing some mystery floor drug or throwing hand symbols or smiles to someone in the closet. Like there is no relief from it. And from everything I read, it appears as if the only possible reprieve is the right medicine combo or pill. IF there even is one that will work on him. As it stands, this is my life now and for forever other than the medicated relief we MAY (or may not) receive that could POSSIBLY help him have less delusions. So this is it. This life as I wait for him to leave me or wonder off again anytime. The man I married is gone and I have no hope of seeing him again. Even when he’s himself, he is tainted with confusion and guilt when he realizes how he acted or what’s going on. But he is so much more often not himself these days. Where is my hope? Where is my drive to wake up tomorrow? (And to think all this while having to ween off my own bipolar meds!) #DelusionalDisorder #Depression #Bipolar #Delusions #hopeless #sad #discouraged #disheartened