discouraged

Received a letter stating that my disability has been denied yet again. I don't understand why this keeps happening bc there is just no way I can work....I live day to day and sometimes hour to hour bc of all the issues and pain and fatigue I deal with....guess I will just keep trying

I was diagnosed with #POTS 2 1/2 years ago, and have been living with symptoms for at least 7 years. For the first 2 yrs after my diagnosis, I was stuck with a doctor who clearly wasn't putting in much effort to help me, so I saw no improvement at all. I now have a great doctor that I love, and his treatment plan was so encouraging, but I'm currently pretty #discouraged because since January I have had covid and walking pneumonia, therefore I've had a big setback. I'm so tired of feeling bad ALL the time. I have 2 young kids, and I feel like my lack of ability to participate in things with them is wrecking their childhood. I also have always been a big worrier, so even if I've dealt with certain symptoms before, if they are really acting up, I get afraid that the doctors missed something, and I'm gonna die. I just need a community that understands and that can reassure me that my symptoms are normal to my condition. #mentallyexhausted #sotired
#heartflutterssuck

I have always always tried my best and succeeded in using positive thoughts process to overcome whatever battle is going on in my life at the time. This one has me stumped, I'm so confused and unsure and scared and upset and I wanna make the pain stop and I don't know how to anymore and I have no one in my life who cares to help pick me up yet I'm always the one there to pick them up! I jus wanna quit, Im feeling not so strong anymore and my only wish is that it pass soon!!

It’s going to be Sunday in about 2 hours and 45 minutes. Anyone have any particularly inspiring Scriptures that are on your heart at the moment? My go-to “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” just isn’t doing it. Maybe fearfully but certainly not wonderfully.

I’m worried as I post this that everyone is going to be scared of me and think I’m like Sybil or Split or any of those other terrifying movies that I refuse to watch. Or think I’m possessed by demons and need to be exorcized immediately. Please no comments of that type or anything else judgmental.

You try to do the right thing for your kids. You have a house. You get a good job. You provide for their care.
Then Your wife moves in with her boyfriend and your world is turned upside down.

Per court order, visitation rights are almost 50/50. I work in healthcare and my work schedule is not typical. My shifts are set on a rotating schedule to where I work three on two off two on two off, etcetera. Basically it means that, although I want him on my days off, i felt my son would benefit from a more consistent schedule to where he wouldn't have to be bounced around from house to house as frequently. So a plan was made to have him stay with one parent one week and the other parent the next week.week. I would still be able to drop him off to school before work and pick him up after work.
Your spouse has the right of first refusal.

COVID19 hits

Your spouse is accommodating to your schedule and takes the right of first refusal while you are at work. This 'accommodation ' comes at a price, however. Not only do you not see your kid during that time but you pay for the privilege. You get a new order for custody that gives that time to your spouse . So that would mean that even if I get called off from work,I would still have to drop him off in the morning to his mom's house and then pick him up in the afternoon. This defeats the purpose of not being bounced around from house to house. Not only that, child support payments go up as well.
Now I do not mind the support payments as much as His bouncing around all the time and the time with and custody of my son. I am screwed for trying to do what is best for my son. I am defeated for doing the right thing.
This divorce was supposed to end before COVID struck but it kept dragging out by lack of response from settlement offer back in 2019. As a result, my child suffers, and I am screwed in Child custody, financially, and emotionally.
#sad #powetless #discouraged #frustrated #Defeated

I am discouraged today. I feel empty and exhausted. #discouraged #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Not sure how much more of this I can take. There is zero light at the end of this tunnel. I don’t see how it will ever get better anymore. I’ve watched (my husbands delusions) just progressively get worse and worse to where now he always thinks I’m cheating or doing some mystery floor drug or throwing hand symbols or smiles to someone in the closet. Like there is no relief from it. And from everything I read, it appears as if the only possible reprieve is the right medicine combo or pill. IF there even is one that will work on him. As it stands, this is my life now and for forever other than the medicated relief we MAY (or may not) receive that could POSSIBLY help him have less delusions. So this is it. This life as I wait for him to leave me or wonder off again anytime. The man I married is gone and I have no hope of seeing him again. Even when he’s himself, he is tainted with confusion and guilt when he realizes how he acted or what’s going on. But he is so much more often not himself these days. Where is my hope? Where is my drive to wake up tomorrow? (And to think all this while having to ween off my own bipolar meds!) #DelusionalDisorder #Depression #Bipolar #Delusions #hopeless #sad #discouraged #disheartened