Existentialdepression

That's just it, sometimes. Survive. Above all else, just get through the right damned now, of a horrible day. A horrible day once upon a time in my past would've been grounds for um, action-cpuntrr productive actions. Today, a horrible crummy day is just that, a horrible crummy day and holding out, going to bed knowing I made it often is just enough to make it through to be real fast time...I'm grateful right now.
1. The mighty
2im alive and 'clean'
3im a father. My son looks up to me, not just cuz he is shorter either!!! And he loves me, respects me. I didn't demand it. I simply loved him and I was given the privilege to be his dad. I took it for granted. I see differently right now.
4not all is lost but moreso, there are those still suffering silently, afraid, anxious, dwindling hopes and have nobody. I get that feeling. Rejection is a cold cracked heart. It hurts. It has the power to destroy much.
Love is free. It takes nothing but hope n faith to give love to someone stranded out in a cd hard world, where these days fear is a common aggressor, shoving folks into silence. Community is a saviour. Wasn't always like that for me
I am today, grateful.

A few days ago, for the first time in a looong while, I picked up a gorgeous fresh loaf of sourdough. My partner has a baking degree and is very passionate about bread, we both same food with carbs when everything else is too difficult to eat. We’ve both had “unexplainable” digestion/bowel issues, indigestion, etc. after eating it.

Being in cyclical poverty, being trans, being fat, being autistic and physically disabled, having cognitive struggles and still being stuck in this hellacious city is taking so much of the very very limited capacity we have left. Realizing that gluten, the thing that is always a good texture, is something that hurts us has been devastating for me. It feels like even the small constants, the small joys are too much for the universe to let me have. I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired. #selfpityfeels #Autistic #Existentialdepression #Fibromyalgia ##CWFOOD