What shall i do? ( sorry for my english) #Flighting #PanicAttacks #dpdr #Trauma #psychotic symptoms #Decision
I am flighting since almost 20 years. From my pain, my feelings, people. From myself.
I have survived a Trauma when i was six years old. I have been in clinics since over 10 years. Now, it is only possible to go there for stabilization for 6-8 weeks.
I have somebody from psychiatric care Who comes three times a week and another Person Who visits me for helping me one time a week
I always want to flight. From here to there and back. My past is a huge Horror and i dont want to live like this anymore, it is so stressful, i dont make decisions and let other work for me. I have Problems with playing moneygames and i am insolvent. My parents are in sorrow and i Play the game further and further.
This is so dick and i am ashamed as hell.
Tomorrow i have the possibility to talk to someone in a Trauma specialized clinic but i am afraid about the fact it is a Trauma clinic and that i am not stable enough to work on that.
I really dont know what to do. Please Help me.