Panic Attacks

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    Chronic pain/condition blogs


    I have been thinking about writing about chronic pain and other conditions for quite some time. I would say I have a lot of thoughts and opinions, and I used to be good at expressive writing (if I've gotten the term right) and getting things down on paper. I was hoping I could potentially make people feel less alone. However, I'm unsure of where I could post things like this or how to get started? Any advice would be appreciated💜

    #MightyTogether #Fibromyalgia #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis #ChronicPain #typeonediabetes #DiabetesType1 #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #LinearScleroderma #Scleroderma #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #AutoimmuneDisease #RareDisease #MedicalZebra #Depression #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #PanicAttacks #MentalHealth #youngadult

    17 reactions 6 comments

    I’m new here!

    Hi, my name is jfrisoli. I'm here because I need people to talk to.

    #MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #DiabetesType2 #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #polycysticovarysyndrome(PCOS) #NicotineDependence

    9 reactions 5 comments

    I’m new here!

    Hi, my name is jfrisoli. I'm here because I need people to talk to.

    #MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #DiabetesType2 #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #polycysticovarysyndrome(PCOS) #NicotineDependence

    9 reactions 5 comments

    Stress States and Working Life...

    How do you deal with levels of stress without stimulating a chronic pain flair up?

    I've had chronic back pain from scoliosis for for 15 years now. I'm off the meds and I'm doing a lot of work on myself with Cognitive Reprocessing Therapy, meditation and mindful movement excercises combined with physiotherapy.

    I can't work because I'm unable to cope with the stress of working as an Operating Department Practitioner (ODP). I left my profession because they couldn't make reasonable adjustments for my condition. So I walked away from my career.

    For the past 18 months I've been trying to wean off painkillers to figure out what to do about my pain, sometimes it's been so overwhelming that I've had panic attacks that have left me suffering from muscle spasms for months.

    I cannot keep going with this idea that I'm the only person going through this, how do we continue to feel our pain in a safe way without overworking the muscles of our backs when we feel our emotions.

    After 15 years of chronic pain it's hard to imagine a world where pain doesn't exist. That's not what I'm looking for, I just want to feel my pain sensations without having an immediate reaction of panic, fear and rage.

    Which brings me to the flip side of chronic pain, when I stopped taking my meds (co-codamol) I began feeling so much, so much that I didn't know how to feel, my pain become overwhelming but so did my emotions. I felt like a baby learning how to navigate states of newness again through this otherworldly state of being because my emotions were so viceral, so explosive. I didn't know how to behave , how to respond to people through these new sensations, it drove me to states of mind that have been described by the internet at psychosis.

    The thing that saved me from my mad mind was the ability to express what I was feeling through art. Painting, poetry, dancing and singing helped me find my way back to myself through my pain. This was about six months ago and at this time I'm trying to bring myself to a place where I can go back to work, safely. There is no room for creative self expression in a hospital...

    The level of self management involved in my day to reduce my pain is a heavy burdeon, I don't know how I will be able to cope without these practices...

    I can't just take a 30 min break and meditate or go for a walk to calm down my nervous system.

    How do people cope with pain and the stress of work when there is no space for us in the system to be able to feel, express and mend ourselves in the moment we need to.....

    Chronic pain, a disability?

    #ChronicPain #Scoliosis #Disability #worklifebalance #Psychosis #cognitivereprocessingtherapy #Stress #cocodamol

    3 reactions

    My Lifelong Journey with Moral Scrupulosity

    I won’t lie. My story is difficult for me to share,

    but I don’t want anyone else to go through what I did. I hope that the next kid with false memory OCD and moral scrupulosity will know that what they are experiencing is obsessive compulsive disorder. As I write this, my heartbeat speeds up and I feel a disorienting wave of dizziness.

    My OCD journey began when I was very small. As a young child, I worried about stealing. When buying groceries with my family I felt an urge to ask if the cashier had scanned everything. As a kid, terrified of breaking the rules, I confessed every little mistake. One day, magical thinking OCD manifested through my toy dinosaur. I remember, at six years old, staying up until midnight to watch a show called So Weird. I placed my little sleeping bag in the living room and forced my tired self to stay up. The show terrified me, but I worried that if I didn’t watch it something bad would happen. Then, at one in the morning, I watched a show called The Jersey to “cool down”. I’ve come to believe that OCD and I have always coexisted. I don’t know life without the never ending cycle of obsessions, anxiety, and compulsions.

    The older I got, the more severe the moral scrupulosity became. In fifth grade I experienced a terrible intrusive thought. I woke up from a horrifying nightmare which quickly became a false memory. I began to worry— “What if I had hurt someone in my sleep?!” Over the next several years terrifying false memories plagued me. I worried that I had done something bad or that something bad had happened to me. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. At night, on my way to the bathroom, I clung to the wall. I repeated over and over again, “You’re only going to the bathroom. Nothing bad is happening.”

    While out on walks, I worried that my arms were unusually long. This made me believe that my hands touched the sidewalk. I felt contaminated physically and mentally. Laundry became difficult, because I feared that of my cats was in the dryer. Terrified to start it, I checked over and over again. I become increasingly withdrawn. At school, I rarely, if ever, talked. Days passed in torturous silence. One day, I left school altogether.

    Somehow, I survived all of this. I spent many years inside my head — Maladaptive Daydreaming. These fantasy lands saved me. To survive, I constructed a makeshift dam inside my head.

    Until, one day the dam broke….

    An intrusive thought in a coffee shop made me question everything. Within a week, the intrusive thoughts took over. My daydreams became daymares, my life become a nightmare. In a panic I texted my mom— How do I know what room I’m in? How do I know I’m really in my bedroom? At night, I cried and screamed in my bed. How do I know I’m not doing something horrific? How do I know I’m in my bed and not at the scene of an accident? Or worse? When I wasn’t having a panic attack I ruminated about everything. Due to guilt and scrupulosity I treated myself horribly. I remember sobbing when I ate because I thought I didn’t deserve food. During one panic attack, I fell off the couch and spit Xanax and Dr. Pepper all over the living room floor. In public, I wore sunglasses over my red, crying eyes and clung desperately to my family. Being alone terrified me. I didn’t trust my mind.

    The first OCD specialist I saw told my family that I needed to go to Rogers Behavioral Health in Wisconsin. In June 2017, on my 22nd birthday, Rogers called. They had a bed for me! My family drove 15 long hours to get me the help I so desperately needed. We passed through many states, but I was sadly too sick to see any of it. Instead, I played Clara Oswald videos over and over again on my phone. I’m very thankful for the treatment I received at Rogers and the spectacular friends I met along the way. I still struggled a lot after Rogers, but I gained so much knowledge about obsessive compulsive disorder and an incredible support system.

    In January 2018 I finally managed to sit in my living room completely by myself. Over the years, I’ve gradually made all sorts of progress. I recently tried driving again and applied to college. I still struggle with false memories when I leave my house and even sometimes when I’m inside my home. Some days just getting the mail feels terrifying. I try to challenge myself. For example, when I’m out shopping with family I walk around the store by myself and I kept my lovely kitten despite the intrusive thoughts.

    With the help of exposure therapy and medication, I am trying to resist compulsions and grow. A lifetime of OCD has been difficult to treat. This adventure hasn’t been easy. I wish I could give my younger self a hug and thank her for continuing on.

    1 reaction 2 comments

    Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)

    Complex PTSD can occur as the result of severe, prolonged and/or repeated trauma. It is often said that those subject to long-term, interpersonal trauma particularly in childhood are at increased risk of developing CPTSD.

    This condition has a wide range of effects on everyday life including effects on personality, identity, memory, mood and emotional regulation.

    Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric condition caused by severe, life-threatening trauma such as experiencing rape, a violent attack or witnessing a death or natural disaster.

    Complex PTSD describes a more severe and long-term condition that can occur after prolonged and repeated trauma, particularly in childhood although this is not always the case.

    It is often said that adults who have experienced prolonged childhood trauma can often feel like they don’t know who they are or where they fit in the world. This comes from a childhood of fear, the child tries to learn how they “should” act and how they “should” portray themselves in an attempt to stay safe. They never get to learn and develop their own identities.

    Symptoms of complex PTSD are similar to the symptoms of PTSD. They include:

    * Difficulties in controlling emotions

    * Periods of losing concentration, blanking out or dissociating

    * Flashbacks (visual, somatic andemotional)

    * Full re-experiencing

    * Panic attacks

    * Sleep problems

    * Nightmares/terrors

    * Difficulties with identity

    * Difficulties with body image

    * Physical symptoms that can’t be explained medically, such as headaches, stomach aches, dizziness and chest pains

    * Disturbed relationships

    * Isolating from other people

    * Inability to trust others

    * Being vulnerable to abuse or exploitation

    * Self-harm, suicide attempts and/or substance abuse

    * Feeling ashamed or guilty

    Complex PTSD can be caused by any type of severe and long-term trauma, and usually involves situations where the victim is (or feels) unable to escape.

    The types of situations which can lead to CPTSD include:

    * Long-term childhood abuse

    * Long-term physical and sexual abuse

    * Concentration camps or prisoner of war camps

    * Prostitution, brothels or sex trafficking

    * Organised child exploitation rings

    A diagnosis of complex PTSD should only be made by a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist who gets to know the person over a period of time.

    While there is no “cure” for CPTSD, recovery means getting to a point where the symptoms are more tolerable and no longer control every aspect of life. It is very often about learning self-management rather than cure. The main form of treatment for complex PTSD is long-term psychological therapy. This helps people slowly find ways to deal with the symptoms and begin to regain their trust in others.

    #CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #MentalHealth #abusesurvivor

    7 reactions

    I bought a star projector for my dissociative heavy days

    I think I accidentally hacked #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
    This is about to make my dissociation so much less distressing
    #CPTSD #ChronicMigraines #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #DomesticAbuseSurvivors

    5 reactions 3 comments
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    If only it was that easy #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorde #PanicAttacks #SexualAbuse

    Wouldn’t it be easy to do that? What we could do is list our negatives on one side and our positives on the other side?

    8 reactions