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    Weird DPDR symptom?

    Hey guys,
    I’m a little nervous to post this because I haven’t heard of anyone else with this specific symptom and because I also struggle with OCD/anxiety, it makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve also been diagnosed with depression and DPDR. So the weird symptom is that when I feel really stressed sometimes I feel like there’s a little me observing myself from the inside (specifically the left side) of my brain. It kind of feel like my consciousness has moved to the side and that I’m a small version of myself operating a robot (aka my body). But because I also have OCD, I become hyper focused on this symptom and when my anxiety is bad I can convince myself that I’m crazy or losing my mind or schizophrenic. It really freaks me out. But I’ve never lost touch with reality I just feel really weird and frustrated. I’d love to hear some feedback and to see if anyone else has ever felt this way? It would mean a lot to me to know I’m not alone in this. Thanks for reading 🙂 #dpdr #weirdsymptoms #OCD #Depression #Depersonalization #Derealization #feelalone

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    Questions about DPDR symptoms

    .I'm really confused cause I don't really know if I have DPDR or something else... sinds almost 3 months after a shock event in my life I'm started feeling like my house.my work place my street my family, friends and every single place I visited before strange and first time I went there and also my memories and everything in my life like doesn't happened and also music i loved and every detail in my life...myself my personality like not myself anymore... and also that i feel that everything around me is weird and like im not living in life and environment around me like trees and everything so strange! It's like I forget what normal is and who I was as a person before..
    And also related my sensation of weather and environment and seasons?
    And when I talk it's not seem like me
    And my head like it's not mine
    Feeling like I'm not here... #dpdr


    I live in alice's wonderland

    Having paranoid schizoaffective, ive taken to calling my paranoia the jabberwocky, because it has no shape, its just a big scary thing with teeth and claws that i cant describe. And in the end it gets its cumuppance, i like to think so anyway. And even though lately ive been struggling with depersonalization/ derealization sometimes just one sometimes all at once. And actually coming to the conclusion that reality is just consensus philosophically. I still feel like im on this crazy amazing ride, its interesting and scary and im always curious whats next, and theres even small moments of joy here an there, ive been getting more of those as time goes on thankfully. Ill have my ups an downs, sure. But i will manage, everyday i try an strengthen my turn around. To be like water. To learn wisdom and knowledge and try to be cross consistent, taking whatever i can use. Its fun and interesting. I guess all im saying is im glad ive found purpose for myself, in making the most of figuring out this wonderland were all in. Its a depthless treasure all the bizarre strangeness life offers sometimes. And i like that. #AliceInWonderland #Paranoia #dpdr #schizoaffective


    Trigger warning: #Selfharm #SuicidalIdeation #CPTSD


    Having some strong existential thoughts and really struggling. Living inside my brain feels completely unsafe lately, in part due to #Trauma symptoms and in part due to withdrawal from a psych med that is having a negative impact on my physical health, but that was apparently numbing me out an awful lot. I’m almost 50% off of it. Now I feel everything at 11 out of 10, or at least what I thought was a 10 before. Then when the feelings get overwhelming I snap into dissociation or #dpdr type symptoms from the #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
    I have no control over this.

    So here are my existential questions.
    What are the primary things that keep you able to keep yourself safe, as in, what prevents you from harming or killing yourself? Looking for concrete reasons or even philosophical or spiritual/theological ones. It makes no difference to me what (if any) religious tradition you follow.

    Those of you that believe in God, any type of God will suffice, do you believe that S/He actually loves us and does anything to protect us? Do you ever get mad at Him/Her or even yell at God? I am personally unable to conceive of God as a reliable parental figure or as an infinite being who even cares what happens to humans.


    Has anyone else with #CPTSD ever been misdiagnosed with a #PsychoticDisorder and treated with antipsychotics and then gone off that med?

    Especially if you have strong tendencies toward #Dissociation

    What happened to you during antipsychotics withdrawal or while you were tapering down?

    I’m having to go off Trilafon (perphenazine) pretty fast (down by 4mg every 2 weeks) because I don’t need it and the med is causing unwanted hormonal changes.

    It’s been determined that my “psychotic break” in 2007 was actually dissociation (kind of in the #Derealization or #dpdr realm). I didn’t feel like anything was real and when you’ve never heard of dissociation it can make you afraid you’re losing your mind and seek help for psychosis instead of the actual problem.

    Now I’m down to 16mg per day down from 24mg originally. When I was on 24mg and even 20mg I experienced strong derealization anytime trauma was approached. For me, derealization looks like completely dissociating to the point that nothing, myself or anyone/anything else is real and being completely mute. Now that I’m down to 16mg for the past 2 weeks (probably going down to 12mg today) I’ve been experiencing #Depersonalization more frequently (for me, that looks like I can talk/type/move with difficulty but I’ve completely retreated emotionally and can’t connect with anyone and if you call me by name I will say “she’s gone”. I can feel cold/pressure/pain but I don’t respond to it.)

    Depersonalization lasts a lot longer like many hours or days. Derealization used to be so severe that I could barely move and would curl up in a ball but it would only last maybe 4 hours.

    I’ve also heard of polyvagal theory. So maybe there’s some explanation there.

    Anyway what happened to you if you were treated with antipsychotics and actually did NOT have a psychotic disorder or bipolar, but actually had CPTSD and/or a dissociative disorder. If you eventually tapered down what happened then? If you have dissociative tendencies did your dissociation change in any way as you went off those meds? How long did it last or was it permanent? Looking for people’s experiences and/or any helpful resources. Thanks!

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    Just so confused.

    So today I woke up and forced myself to shower because last time I had showered was Xmas Eve Eve, I have just had 2 days off which disappeared in a haze. Today I had work then a week off. So thought if I shower today I can be gross for the rest of the week if that's what my mind needs.
    I head to work after remembering to eat a protein flapjack bonus spoon added for the day. But when I get to work (retail) a person had defecated in the enterance to my store and I have to be the one to clean it up. Suffice to say it was disgusting and occupied my whole day near enough. But while at work and dealing with this non-sense my brain felt like I had woken up in a parralelle universe close enough but not. And I have spent all day like this. My friend suggested I search for derealisation disassociation. And it made more sense but at what point did my brain decide to take me on a fuzzy mental holiday to protect itself. So many small things today I struggled with. So many that I should have more feelings than I do, but I don't, I have noticed this many times. Often if a customer gets irate at me I can carry on like nothing happened. But if a colleague experiences the same they become rattled and emotional. I don't know when this stopped for me but it's like nothing effects me. Except loud sudden noises, the bin lid clicks shut and I full body jump. One loud firework bang and I get goosebumps that leave a painful electrical tingle. When did these things get so muddled.

    Would love some ideas for feedback in general.

    #Depression #dpdr #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #confused #Transman #Disphoric #help


    What shall i do? ( sorry for my english) #Flighting #PanicAttacks #dpdr #Trauma #psychotic symptoms #Decision

    I am flighting since almost 20 years. From my pain, my feelings, people. From myself.
    I have survived a Trauma when i was six years old. I have been in clinics since over 10 years. Now, it is only possible to go there for stabilization for 6-8 weeks.
    I have somebody from psychiatric care Who comes three times a week and another Person Who visits me for helping me one time a week
    I always want to flight. From here to there and back. My past is a huge Horror and i dont want to live like this anymore, it is so stressful, i dont make decisions and let other work for me. I have Problems with playing moneygames and i am insolvent. My parents are in sorrow and i Play the game further and further.
    This is so dick and i am ashamed as hell.
    Tomorrow i have the possibility to talk to someone in a Trauma specialized clinic but i am afraid about the fact it is a Trauma clinic and that i am not stable enough to work on that.
    I really dont know what to do. Please Help me.


    Any advice or really anything would help. ❤

    I feel like such a burden to my family because I'm not working. I really wish I could be more self-sufficient and independent. It makes me feel like a failure of a daughter. How would you feel if your 21 year old kid was on disability while their sibling graduated college with flying colours while the other didn't end up going because they ended up in a psychiatric ward for 5 months, that drives a stick shift car they bought themselves while the other doesn't drive so they ask you for rides sometimes and where one lives at home and gets along with you while the other lives in a supportive living facility? I know I probably just shouldn't compare myself but we're twins. He's also a lot more positive, calm and (according to my family) more emotionally mature than I am. My parents can't stand hearing about mental health/illness and are the types of people that call my reasons for not currently working (such as anxiety, ADHD, dissociation/dpdr and chronic pain) excuses. They also consider it laziness when I'm depressed and end up spending a lot of time in bed but sometimes it just feels like doing anything is painful or awful honestly. Medications are helping but I still need to make some adjustments. This whole situation alongside my parents judgement makes me feel suicidal but I can't attempt and put them through that again whether I fail or succeed. Any advice or thoughts would help. #Suicide #Parents #BipolarDisorder #Family #Depression #Anxiety #Disability #dpdr #Dissociation


    could someone be able to talk to me about dpdr

    I am suffering with door and have no way to explain it to someone else I’m not an adult and so I am unable to go to the doctors on my own and no one will take me and no one really can seep what I’m going through #depresonalisation #dpdr #DDD #DPD #

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    what are some of your main symptoms of dpdr?

    for me, memory loss is a big one. plus feeling like nothing is real. I have vision fog, muffled sounds, feeling like I’m out of body, numbing of emotions but sometimes heightened emotions. what do you feel? #DepersonalizationDisorder #DerealizationDisorder #Depersonalization/DerealizationDisorder #dpdr #Trauma #PTSD #DissociationDisorders #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder