graditude

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Rare disease-in it….

I know Thymoma is rare. It was clear that my ER doctor was blowing me off when initially my numbers didn’t cause any concern. I waited, did more tests, then one of the tests results required that I get a ct scan, I hate that thing and the contrast but I know it’s there for my benefit. But where is the actual benefit? If it shows off a brand spanking new tumor the treatment is another sternotomy. And if nothing of concern shows up I’m still underserveilance by the medical team that directs my care.

So being blown off by the ER Dr wasn’t an issue for me. I’m confident that my medical records require diligence and respect by the consistent comment: “You’ve been through a lot.” To which I just usually nod yes, quietly.

After hours, I arrived at the ER at 5 in the morning and it’s the afternoon now, I am still here waiting (and ready) to go home. I already started removing the tape from my IV because I know how. (I used to work an emergency medicine)

The surprising thing is the fact that The Doctor Who blew me off initially, actually acknowledged his behavior and mentioned how easy it was to assume based on normal test results. I SO appreciated and respect that, as a human being!! He could have acted like all was well and never acknowledged his behavior choice. It’s super cool to be treated humanely when your own body disrespects you with a movement disorder called Segmental Dystonia or can grow tumors in places that threaten your life…..just sayin’.

Now I am riding home in an ambulance simply feeling grateful. There was no tumor growing in my mediastinum today and I will leave tomorrow to it’s own devices. :)

Have a great week.

#MedicalZebra #RareDisease #graditude

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William#artheals #Parent #Anxiety #PTSD #graditude #Will

My son turns twenty tomorrow.I feel frozen in time while time is creeping up,faster than yesterday.I see myself in him now more than before.He has this communication,only I,his mother understands. We havelooks,have looks, only words,too many between us,but the silence between us is deafening at times.We know eachother that well,no words are needed,only validating what he knows.His memory and expression of the past,is clear,thought out,out, now and accepted.He stears clear of drama.He still needs prompts to express which emotion is appropriate.People will never understand the frustration it causes, to not beable to speak the emotions outloud.To not feel safe enough to speak your heart.to question your own judgement based on others expressions.To not know when to approach or how to start that conversation.I saw his side this past year,more intentionally than before.Observing him as an adult.He has met his goals.He did it all on his own.He had to prove alot to himself when I became sick.All during Covid and two scarey quarantines.It has been a year since,where my son took me to appointments,sat with me,went shopping for us,paid utilities when needed,took me for rides,checked on me always. All while working a full time, overnight job.I am in awe at his perseverance this year.He really pushed himself physically and mentally.He needs some guidance and boundaries,still,the typical ones.He has worked extremely hard,he is going to be okay,better than okay,he is going to be great.He has choices.

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#graditude and feeling grateful

Hi everyone I hope ev will like this a few of us here picked chatting about gratitude today I’m very grateful for my new friends here and try to list things this week that makes you feel more grateful or brings you gratitude please let us know what helps make you feel this positive emotion this week you can keep adding things here as you think of them I’m going to post something later on something I can find on this subject so everyone can take away from it 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋👍

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