Will

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Thanks For Praying: Keep It Up! Please 😁👍🙏✝️

Oh, thank you all for your prayers and encouraging words you shared. Please keep me in your prayers. I need the Lord to intervene in this situation.

Background info: I obeyed the Lord in an unexpected journey. I have encountered extensive unexpected obstacles that involved many physical setbacks. Powerful ministry opportunities have occurred, but they have been followed by deep forms of persecution. And now, I am on the verge of leaving the area because I was unexpectedly terminated from work, and NO other jobs have opened in such an overt way that I cannot tell if this is a Godsend (to move and shake the dust) or if this is yet another attempt to force me to simply give up, drop out of school, and move on.

Your prayers are appreciated for: #wisdom #Provision #the Lord’s #mighty #Will to be done! Thank you!

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William#artheals #Parent #Anxiety #PTSD #graditude #Will

My son turns twenty tomorrow.I feel frozen in time while time is creeping up,faster than yesterday.I see myself in him now more than before.He has this communication,only I,his mother understands. We havelooks,have looks, only words,too many between us,but the silence between us is deafening at times.We know eachother that well,no words are needed,only validating what he knows.His memory and expression of the past,is clear,thought out,out, now and accepted.He stears clear of drama.He still needs prompts to express which emotion is appropriate.People will never understand the frustration it causes, to not beable to speak the emotions outloud.To not feel safe enough to speak your heart.to question your own judgement based on others expressions.To not know when to approach or how to start that conversation.I saw his side this past year,more intentionally than before.Observing him as an adult.He has met his goals.He did it all on his own.He had to prove alot to himself when I became sick.All during Covid and two scarey quarantines.It has been a year since,where my son took me to appointments,sat with me,went shopping for us,paid utilities when needed,took me for rides,checked on me always. All while working a full time, overnight job.I am in awe at his perseverance this year.He really pushed himself physically and mentally.He needs some guidance and boundaries,still,the typical ones.He has worked extremely hard,he is going to be okay,better than okay,he is going to be great.He has choices.

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#Will i ever feel "normal" again " #Bipolar #major depression#

For the past 3 years or so I have went through so many meds that I lost count. Most of them made me feel numb inside and depression worse. I have been with my fiancee for about 3 years now a little after being diagnosed with bipolar which previously they thought was depression. When he and I first started dating him I was very honest with my diagnosis' and how difficult it may be. He said it didn't matter and he would be there every step of the way. And up until the last 6 months I notice a change in him. I did switch meds about a year ago and noticed that I lost motivation to do anything and even found myself slipping at work and I am a boss which people rely on me. So with all the pressure at home, at work, kids, family, he reminded me I have neglected our relationship. Which in my mind I have but now our alone time seems to be all about sex. And prior to being diagnosed I was mostly manic so sex was on my mind 24/7 and that is the girl I feel he fell in love with. And I even miss that me the manic state of feeling happy, motivation, concentration, confidence, outgoing, and always showing him affection and having sex every second we could. But anymore now that I work from home due to COVID I go days so many I don't even remember the last time I bathed. I finally opened up about how I feel when we do have alone time it seems to be sexual which makes me want it even less for reason. Now when I tell him no for a quickie or repeat myself again how that makes me feel. And when I do turn him down he says things like you don't find me attractive or I don't love him anymore.. when he says these things it is just another thing to add to my list of things I hate about myself. And honestly I have told him multiple times if it were not for my 3 kids I wouldn't be here today because i live for them. And even on my worst days i put on my fake happy face for kids, family, coworkers as if nothing is wrong and I have the best life. But this morning I had a major breakdown over something he said and then he opened up. He said I make him feel guilty for wanting me or touching me or making a move that he said he has no desire to have sex with me. He than mentioned things he misses that I used to do. Which put even more guilt on me for not being enough and the things he listed are all things I miss about myself. I keep thinking of telling my med specialist all these things I am feeling but dont because I worry about doing another med change. The questions and anxiety I have thinking about what the new med will do to me. I have thought about getting off bipolar meds all together so I can finally get that manic state back which will make everyone happy...except I know the consequences of being manic which are poor decisions. I try everyday to be positive and tell myself I can change it is in my own hands and not long after that I get depressed and remind myself how I will always have this.

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I am doing my #Will because I’m going to leave my house and kennel and property to a non profit organization that helps people and animals

I have a brother who is not close to me and my family is not worth it but I’m trying to get the Will left to Oakham very good organization and I thought about leaving it to 2 organizations but Tom says it is better to leave it to one .Appreciate any thoughts on the issue:-)

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Shrimp 🍤 dog #I am upset about my old friend I have known since 1982 and thought maybe you all might have some thoughts Please 😋😋😷😷🍤🍤🇵🇭✅❤️👍😷

I am only getting her side of the story but my friends have mixed thoughts 😷😋👍✅
This past winter I lost contact with my friend:-(
When I did get a phone message she was upset and told me that her sons paid for a one way plane fare to the Philippines and the first thing she said to me was,” I am not senile and I agreed with her and asked her what is going on with her “✅👍😷

I think she should try to get legal help because she now is stuck in the Philippines and cannot afford to pay for the plane ticket back to the USA so I suggested she call her most recent doctor from GA and my friends are saying to not get involved 🙄🙄
Even Tom from Maine said,”Maybe her sons know more than I am hearing:-( I would think that the laws would be similar and she owns her own house but her sons put it on the market and she told me she is very unhappy in the Philippines 🇵🇭 but has not got the money to pay for a ticket back to the USA ✅👍I apologize to you all because this is a very very difficult situation and the easy way is to stay out of the situation but she should as an American citizen have the right to get legal help but she is not in the USA now so I have no idea what her rights are 😷COVID is a big part of the situation too because Lockdown took place pretty much World wide so I will try to call her back tonight and I have talked to her once every few days and sometimes a little bit longer but it is a nightmare and I am actually shocked that my friends are saying I should stay out of the situation but I ask myself if something like this happens wouldn’t she still be able to get help from even her health care providers in the USA 🇺🇸 As I said if this is too upsetting please pray for her and I #Will try to call her and see what she can do ✅✅😷😷
She is afraid of COVID and rightfully so but I will try to call her and see what her options are because her dogs and cats are so her sons are saying are in GA and TN 😋😷❤️✅👍🇺🇸At the very least she should be able to get an evaluation done ASAP and not be afraid 😋🙄🙄
I will always advocate for what I can do and I know that COVID has had a lot to do with her being stuck but I am very very worried about her and will let you know how I do with trying to call her because it is very very possible that she is stuck in the Philippines because of Covid 😷😷👍👍❤️❤️ Thank You all:-))

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#Will I Die or Survive

#Cancer , I was diagnosed with you almost 3 years ago now, I recall loosing my marbles, the uncontrollable crying, no one to comfort me at all. . . . . I remember almost hitting the denial stage, but I had too many tests and trusted their outcomes by now to know better. I mean, don't I have enough wrong with me, my body wracked with pain 24/7, most of the time I can't get up without hitting the floor cause of this "low blood pressure thing" my cardiologist can't seem to get a hold of so who suffers ? I've had numerous surgeries now, still waiting for the chemo speech, they know I don't want it, I don't want to loose all my hair, I've already lost 100lbs. I'm so damn tired of loosing, I have lost so much your head would spin for 2 decades, I want to win part or all of my life back, that would be fair, I'll give back all these diseases and in return I can go back to doing what I loved the most, work, a master automotive technician, but it won't happen so I can't, and so I sob and cry for this is not how a man should live, and then those dark clouds blow across my brain and heart, telling me to end it all, I can only count 3 people who would be affected by my leaving, 2 would be devastated, maybe one. I had a great psychologist but she left and moved to go into more lucrative "private practice", as all the really good ones do, so people like me are left with the bottom of the pile, and they are bad, they sound as though they are spitting out quotes from a text book. So I will sit here in darkness in bed, while the darkest thoughts cross what's left of my mind. . . . . . .

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#Will it ever get better

Will it? Will it ever get better? Two years ago I had a breakdown and ended up in hospital for a few days. I’ve never been so scared in my life! When I left I was put on antidepressants and beta blockers. After a while of suffering I started to feel abit better. Today I’m in such a better place but find myself still getting really anxious . I wonder if I will ever get completely better? I get scared of going back to that dark place 🙁

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What room describes my mood #

Have had my life totally ripped apart over last 3 years in particular. Came from very disfunctional family, and yet go to person for needing help. Have chronic health issues for ages. Am definitely junk room as
#CheckInWithMe 3 years ago my son was sexually abused by family members. Everything has just fallen apart as well as losing my Mum a year ago unexpectedly. My son has intellectual disabilities and he is no longer able to function. I was also a victim and wonder if the only way to protect ourselves is to not be here? #Will it ever stop
So tired of being alone
Overwhelmed

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