Does anyone else get in trouble for being brutally honest and sharing strong opinions? It’s a characteristic I hold dear, nonetheless, I know I rub people wrong. People need sugar with their truth. #NoFilter #hardtime
Well know having depression is literally a life time thing!
Its literally like your name , you will always have it and it never goes away !
Now here is the hard part , how to deal with it .
The first step for me was just to be in peace with that . I mean I do have my days where I wake up asking myself why ? How do I get rid of this !
But then I came to this point where I have to ! I have to be okay just to at least manage to have a semi normal life !
I learned that I have it in me . Strength, courage, and I can fight till the end ! Cause If this was not true I would have not been alive and here today !
So we all have it in US , we all can do this and at the end of the day NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS .. THIS TOO SHALL PASS ♥️
So we keep fighting even if it hurts ♥️
This is my first post not sure how it all works here. But today/ tonight has been really hard. Well really this month. Tonight my husband and I really talked about everything going on in our lives. And the truth is that I think we’re both depressed. Being 25 and this is supposed to be my prime time to shine. Had to quite my teaching career and now to barely being able to make it out of bed most days. Not due to depression but sickness lack of energy. I have really no friends. I need someone to talk that understands.
I am coming down kind of off of my manic episode (9whole weeks) and crashing into depression. Still week 9, with remaining irritability and still some bopping around from topic to topic, but now I am at least sleeping with the new increase in geodon, but I am sleeping through prime time tv at 9 pm, waking at 11 pm alarm to take my bedtime meds and waking to feed my cat at 5am and am up for good at 7 am. It is great I am finally sleeping, but I am feeling like an enormous burden to my family, even more than to my friends, because my family has commented on it. I have 14 often times invisible illnesses and they say I talk about my pain and health too much every day and they already know I am in pain and don’t want to hear it anymore, so for months I have kept quiet, with the exception of being open to my dad, therapist and 4 friends. One of whom hears everything. I lately have been feeling they would be better off without me. I can’t change who I am. I am in constant pain and I live with my amazing dog-cat (Bombay) who is keeping me alive. But I get lonely so I go to my dad’s everyday. My brother and his wife live their, too, and he can be cruel. He will ask why I am there every day, where are my friends, if I just want to read, why do I go there, yada yada.. because I am trying to stay alive and don’t want to be alone all day. I talked to my therapist after my best friend said she was worried about me and thinks I need a day program again, so that is the new plan. A day program I hope to start soon- but next week is a holiday week and I might not get in then. I see my psych nurse today and I know we will play with meds again today because she doesn’t want me to suffer and I will see my therapist again on Thursday. Thank goodness for her!!! I see her twice a week, but at this point I need 5 days a week and close attention to meds and changes. I have gained 24 lbs due to 11 changes in doses and meds since August. Damn bipolar!! Thank you so much for listening. That is how I am doing. Trying to fight to hang on and do the right thing and feeling sometimes like the right thing is to leave. 😞
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