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An Update on Being a burden

Thank you to everyone who left such kind messages. My apologies that I haven’t responded, yesterday was overwhelming and I felt unable to do more than read everyone’s regards.

For those who didn’t catch my comments on the original post, I ended up going to the hospital after I phoned NHS Direct as they were concerned about my heart and lungs. I had an ECG, chest X-Ray and blood tests, and luckily nothing came back abnormal and I was given oxygen, a mild sedative and then sent home to rest and relax.

I ended up texting two of these “friends”, to tell them what had happened and hopefully make them see that words and actions have consequences. I spoke at length about doing this to my best friend and my partner, and both advised me to say what I needed to say then mute the conversation. When I came back a while later, both had replied despite me telling them a reply was unnecessary. One gave me a genuine, heartfelt apology, accepting their responsibility for the situation and realising that I may not accept their apology or forgive them for what they did, but asking that I acknowledge their apology. The other said that the whole situation was bullsh*t, that they “didn’t know how to deal with someone who has multiple chronic and mental illnesses” and that the whole situation was unfair on everyone involved, but also acknowledged that all that probably pales in comparison to what I’ve been through these past 2 days. I really don’t know what to do now. On the one hand one seemed genuinely sorry, and like they wanted me back in the group, and even said that they’d been thinking about everything they’d said since they said it, and the other felt less sincere, like they were trying to pass off what happened as my fault, rather than taking responsibility for their words and actions. #MentalHealth #physicalhealth #HospitalVisit #EmergencyRoom


#NewDailyPersistentHeadache #HospitalVisit #Breaktheheadache

I am back in the hospital at my neurologist’s clinic after having two solid years of managing at home with my daily meds and abortives. I don’t know what happened or what changed and I don’t know if I’ll get answer as to why but I hope for a new plan to get me back to my normal.


Rough Evening #HospitalVisit

I had a enjoyable day with my baby girl and my boyfriend on his day off. We went to the shop and bought some junk food (biscuits and a cake). I played on the PC for first time in ages and my boyfriend made us a tasty roast dinner.

Fast forward to when I was getting out of the shower, I slipped and fell (dislocating my middle finger). I had to go to hospital in another town and the journeys in the taxis cost us €72 in total.

I'm home now and I realise that I've forgotten to take my antidepressants today but that's not what's worrying me. My boyfriend works five days a week and is away for 11 hours each of those days...
How am I going to able to look after our four month daughter on my own when he's away? I have no one here other than my boyfriend, my immediate family were my abusers, my boyfriend's family lives in a different country and my friends don't live anywhere near me.
#CheckInWithMe #Depression #Anxiety #feelingisolated #dislocations