An Update on Being a burden
Thank you to everyone who left such kind messages. My apologies that I haven’t responded, yesterday was overwhelming and I felt unable to do more than read everyone’s regards.
For those who didn’t catch my comments on the original post, I ended up going to the hospital after I phoned NHS Direct as they were concerned about my heart and lungs. I had an ECG, chest X-Ray and blood tests, and luckily nothing came back abnormal and I was given oxygen, a mild sedative and then sent home to rest and relax.
I ended up texting two of these “friends”, to tell them what had happened and hopefully make them see that words and actions have consequences. I spoke at length about doing this to my best friend and my partner, and both advised me to say what I needed to say then mute the conversation. When I came back a while later, both had replied despite me telling them a reply was unnecessary. One gave me a genuine, heartfelt apology, accepting their responsibility for the situation and realising that I may not accept their apology or forgive them for what they did, but asking that I acknowledge their apology. The other said that the whole situation was bullsh*t, that they “didn’t know how to deal with someone who has multiple chronic and mental illnesses” and that the whole situation was unfair on everyone involved, but also acknowledged that all that probably pales in comparison to what I’ve been through these past 2 days. I really don’t know what to do now. On the one hand one seemed genuinely sorry, and like they wanted me back in the group, and even said that they’d been thinking about everything they’d said since they said it, and the other felt less sincere, like they were trying to pass off what happened as my fault, rather than taking responsibility for their words and actions. #MentalHealth #physicalhealth #HospitalVisit #EmergencyRoom